May thunder roll and
Lightning strike;
I'll never give up
On you.

I believe
Everyone
Deserves a chance.
No matter what
Race
Culture
Sexuality
Gender;
Everyone does.
Even if
Bad people do
Bad things,
Does that really make them
Bad?

You can't
judge
A person
From one look.
It's not fair.

I bet when people
Look at your wrists,
They think you're a
monster
For cutting your skin.

You do as well.

But I'll kiss your
Scars
If you'd let me.

In the bible
They say death
Is a lie but
If I'm already
Dead then
Why should I
Even care?

Yesterday it would seem that
the Sun was in our favor.
As we were touching and
realizing that Love is felt in
many more ways than one,
Solar Flares erupted from the Sun
and left me wanting more.
You were arching and I
was panting, Everything inside
of me ached for everything you
would share with me.

Good God, The Sun was in
our favor and I am very
grateful for it.

i wont.
i wont make another
passage in my
skin like i
used to.
i wont allow the
blade to control me
again over someone.
i wont let myself
get to where i
was just a
few months ago
because being who
i was isn't who i
want to be
now.

ive finally started caring
again and even though
it hurts sometimes,
the pain isn't as
bad as it was when
i had nothing left
inside.

Demi Lovato
And 2 fingers inside
Wanted to scream
"oooohhh babyyyy"
Late for school
Smell like *** and
Coconuts
Our 7 month anniversary
Is definitely one to remember.

I can't wait to
Jump in front of
You and show you how
Amazing I did on
The test you helped
Me with.

I can't wait to
Tell you how
Grateful Iam
That you were
Teaching me on
The side.

I can't wait to
Just be by you
Because you make me
Feel like I'm
Important and
That I'm loved and
Needed.

I can't wait.

Oh Doctor,
You have been so kind.
I'll be going back to you soon
For you to check up on me
again.
I'm not complaining,
Because he makes me laugh oh so much.
He's great.
I giggle and laugh as he
Hits my knee with that thingy and
Does his regular routine check.
He started tearing up as I
Told him about my thoughts
And he understood and
Even listened.
I told him how sad I've been
And how empty I am.
How much I
Want to not be here anymore.
How I've even cut
Because of everything.
But then he grabbed my hand
Told me everything was going to be better
And asked, "do you have a plan?"
I smiled, said no.
Because it's true,
I don't.
I wanted to but
I didn't and that's how he knew.
That's how he knew that
Maybe I'm not fully
Afraid of living.

and what is it like, dear?
being so in love,
being so convinced that she is all you desire,
that i am not enough to even be close to you anymore?

I could go tonight, I still have the ticket and I still have a reason to go. But why would I do that to myself? Would it do anything to me? When you are around, I don't feel anything. Not anger, nor jealousy. Just there. I feel almost completely separated from you, which is wonderful. But at the same time, you still slightly tug on my heart. Ray, you care about her. She'll always be your first love. Yes, I'll always care about her and she'll always be my first love. Maybe I'll always love her. But not in the same way, never in the same way. We've both changed, whether it be for the good or the bad, I cannot tell. But I do not love her, but I do care and I hope she stays safe tonight.

I noticed that something has
Truly changed when I didn't
Pray this morning nor
Pledged the flag.
I used to believe in God and
Our nation but it's been
Something I seem to lag lately.

how can i miss something
or someone that i've
never had?

i'm pretty ****
good at it,
if you ask
me.

You remind me of the sunset
You come up
In my windows
Shining so bright
Then you fall back
Down
Right back into the night.

Everybody's worried but
Nobody's concerned.
There's a difference,
And I wish you were
Both.

I saw what I wanted to see instead of what was right in front of me.

kissing you is so beautiful.

i want to deconstruct everything i have always known about myself in hopes that ill find something worth saving

and I love his enthusiasm. I never appreciated him until now.

Stop ******* saying I'm mad
I said I was cool with it.
You're making this a big deal when
I'm being chill about it.
I've had enough problems in my life lately and
I'm not letting this get to me.
Those feelings and nightmares are for
At night, not now.
So, lets stay friends,
I'm sick of fighting.
I gave up and
You let someone in.
I'm proud of you.
I just am selfish and
Wish that it wasn't him.

Its been a year today,
And while you've been gone
I've looked at your picture on my mirror everyday.
When you died,
Something happened to me.
I went to back to my classroom after they told me
and took a pair of scissors from my teachers desk.
Nobody saw, nobody would know.
And I walked to the bathroom as calmly as I could,
And I went to the last stall,
And locked it.
There, yes, good. Nobody will know
I looked around at the beige colored tiles
and I couldn't catch my own breath anymore.
Everything seemed so bleak.
I asked myself, "I wonder if he regrets it?"
But alas, no answer.
There, yes, good. Nobody will know
Before I went into the bathroom,
I was sobbing
And playing out whether or not I should run out of the building
And get hit by oncoming traffic.
I decided against it.
Not because I wanted to live,
But because my best friend was holding onto me
And my blackened tears were already stained onto her shirt.
I couldn't leave like that.
No, I would do it later
Even my own girlfriend didn't make me happier.
But that's the thing,
You cant fill a hole in your heart with another person.
It only works for a little while,
And alas, I was still so depressed.
There, yes, good. Nobody will know
I wore makeup that day,
And my teacher took her antidepressants
in front of me.
She wouldn't tell me why,
Because then she would have started sobbing.
But I knew his empty seat was
so much more than an physical absence that day.
Something felt different in the air,
And it was so cold.
You could feel it everywhere,
Even before everyone knew.
There, yes, good. Nobody will know
As I looked down at my wrist,
I pressed down to where i had made lines only just a few days before.
I needed more lines,
I deserved more lines.
Somehow I made everything that happened into my own fault.
And I cut once,
And twice,
And then I stooped.
I looked up and heard some girls calling for me,
Some girls I didn't really know,
But they were concerned.
As they started towards the stall I was in,
I scrambled to hide the scissors.
I was so ashamed.
I rolled down my sleeves,
And opened the stall door.
As they opened their arms,
I wept.
I had cried so much that day,
I wasn't sure I was 70 percent water anymore.
There, yes, good. Nobody will know
I looked around as I followed them into another classroom.
And I talked with my friends.
And I made up the saying "Juan is light" in Spanish.
And that day,
I had made a promise to not only myself,
But you.
I would never harm myself again.
And today, I am proud to say that no matter how hard life has been
(especially of late)
And how much I've wanted to see the blood drip
from my wrists,
I have kept my promise.
And I plan on keeping of forever for you, Juan.
I hope everything is okay whenever you may be,
Thank you for everything.
You will always be remembered.

i look like a lady
but i think like a man
and i guess in this relationship
ill probably be a little bit of both
the things i want to do in bed
are definitely not too girly
but i know that you'd enjoy
the feeling of being touched
and licked
and loved.

but, im still a lady
ill put out your chair
and be as gentle as i can
and the kisses ill give you
will be as sweet as sugar.
ill wear perfume
and my dresses will
hug my hips
and my neck will taste like
love.

ill be everything you need.
from intelligent, to lover,
to just someone you want to
listen to music with,
ill be everything you deserve.

daddy's little girl
yeah right.
daddy can barely call his
little girl back.
she's desperate for him too.
guess he has better things to do.
or even better,
another family with
more important kids than
you.

god, I have daddy issues
don't I?

I was sitting in class today
My eyes drifted for a second
You were laughing,
Everyone was laughing
I tried to
But
Nothing came out.

I looked around
Sighed even
And thought to myself
nobody would care if I were gone.

I sighed again
And
Turned to you.
You were smiling and I was glad
You were happy
I'm grateful for that at least.
That's all I ask for
Your happiness
But I won't lie
When I say that I was jealous
Because she made you laugh
And I couldn't even muster
Up a word.

I can see strings in my mind
right when I close my eyes I
can see them in a magnificent
spectrum, the spectrum of colors
and light and everything that
ever was and ever will be
in this spectrum of beautiful
strings that play like a violin
across all of time and space.
I can see all things that are
finite and the things that are not.
Can others see this spectrum as well?
Can they feel the way the strings
are picked at and hear the beautiful
music that comes from them?
Do they even understand?
These strings connect everything
and they are not just limited to
time and space; *We are all connected.

been scared and battered.
My hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me,
Sun has baked me,

Looks like between 'em they done
Tried to make me

Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin'--
But I don't care!
I'm still here!

On the grass field,
The sun shines bright.
The ball was being kicked and
I was behind the goal,
Waiting to be told
What to do.
Suddenly,
I felt something.
Something... Different.
I looked around until
I saw you jogging.
Up and down the field in your
Bright red shorts
And white, sweaty t-shirt.
And somehow I knew,
You were absolutely perfect.

Oh, my darling, won't you write me a love poem please?
This is something that I've been wanting
I just want to make sure that your love for me
Has not ceased.

Oh, my darling, won't you write me a love poem please?
You make me weak and make my heart flutter
What have I done to make myself that your heart
May freeze?

Oh, my darling, won't you write me a love poem please?
keep telling me that you love me
For if I keep shaking ill
Break my knees.

Oh, my darling, won't you write me a love poem please?
When you don't show me affection you
Make me feel like I may
have fleas.

Oh, my darling, won't you write me a love poem please?
Don't you know that I can feel you everywhere
From the sun on my skin to my hair
In the breeze?

Oh, my darling, won't you write me a love poem please?
Just please please please
Write me a love poem.

the medicine is kicking in, my mind is numbing once again

i cried in therapy today
while telling her that i
hate that nothing bad has
happened to him yet--
He still has his phone and
his life while i'm caged up
Like some animal and
cant have anybody i love or
care about with me
anymore.

You're defensive.
And I get it.
The way I
Look into your eyes is
Not the same as I
Look into his.
The way he
Kisses my cheek and says,
"Hello!"
Is different from the time you
Cried and
I kissed you on the
Top of your head.

It's not the same.
For him it's lust. But
For you,
Well,
To be honest,
I am in love with you.

But I'm trying so hard not to be.

I lay next to you,
Smiling because you make me happy.
I'm suddenly overwhelmed
By the feelings I can't
Control.

You hand me another book to read.
Our fingertips brush.
I feel the electricity, don't you?

You came over to my house one day,
Helping me with my studies,
That's all.
But when I paraded half naked in front of you
I saw the looks in the mirror.

Your eyes look famished,
Desperate for a drink.
Your mouth was slightly open
You looked in awe.
You searched my curves,
Your fingers traced my bones.

All I could see through the mirror
Was how much you wanted me.
Did you want me?
Or
Did you want the curves?
I'd let you use me,
But you'd rather not,
Why?

I could show you things,
Things unimaginable.
I could trace every inch of your body,
I could kiss every inch of your soul.
I could make you know what love is
But No!

I'm not her, am I?
I'm me. And me is all I can ever be.

You see, I'm alone.

Even with you lying next to me,
I can feel your heartbeat,
Memorize your breathes.
I can still smell the scent you left behind that day,
And still see your body
On the bed next to me.

It would never matter because I never will.

I'm still listening.
The voices are
Telling me things.
my voice screams at them and
Trys to reason with them.
she should be dead
i should live, shouldn't I?
youre ugly, fat, and a ***, you're a disgrace to mankind
but I could help
youre worthless
I'm not sure who to believe,
They run back and forth and
I'm very confused.
I don't know what to do.

I saw him today.
Yes, him.
The man of my dreams.
Now, listen closely,
because its vital:
I needed to go get something
and out of luck,
he was there.
He was riding in a
golf cart,
curly brown hair
flying in the wind and
his eyes ever so
green in the
shining sun.

What will it take for him to
feel the same for me
one day?

His fingers play the bass,
Just like I wish they would
Rustle through my hair.
His eyes look up at me,
And I look down in despair.
He must know that I like him,
He looks back at me as if so.
I wish I could go up to him,
And say a simple "hello".