i’ve got a secret
it’s real hard to keep it
but keep it i have, for a while

a finger on your lips,
a hand pressed on mine

”hush”,
you said behind a smile

i thought it was nice when you said
“my name is..” and
told me your whole life’s story
i thought it was better when
you listened to mine
even though it must’ve been boring

i can’t comprehend how i hurt you
i can’t seem to grasp why you care
just know if you ever come back to me
i can’t guarantee i’ll be there

when i'm sitting, hand on my cheek
i get so soft when our eyes meet
your lips look so kissable in
fluorescent lights
and thoughts of you run through my mind most nights
when i finally did kiss you,
opposed to dread
all the happiest notions filled my head
and when you smile my heart is light
for visions of you are what give me life

the longer i can’t have you,
the more i want you
you drift away and return
with just enough time
for me to fall
and fall
and fall
and repeat it all again

it’s always “i should’ve kissed you”
never “i did”
he’s always mine, but i’m never his

to get to know this boy
to have his words find their way through my ears
to my eyes where his face stops the tears
that slip from our hands, staining my corduroys