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raenona Dec 2015
the last time i saw you i was crying my eyes out

i had been avoiding you for a week
you told me you wouldn't let me go
you snuck me into your room
you held me
you dried my tears
you told me you wouldn't let go
i fell asleep by your side for the hundredth time
(i need to start leaving a toothbrush in your room)
you held me like you would never let me go
i laid there and remembered when you
spilled your heart out to me as we choked down alcohol
i laid there and hoped you really would never let me go
i woke up before you
(you were so cute when you slept)
i kissed you on the cheek
i left as if nothing happened
as if i didn't lay there
noticing our synchronized breathing,
your legs intertwined with mine,
your eyelashes fluttering against my cheek,
your pounding heartbeat

i had never felt more alive

please never let me go
d.stanfill
raenona Dec 2015
i tie your kiss around my wrist
i pull the knot extra tight
i can't let it go
  Dec 2015 raenona
fdg
~
i don't know my own name some nights
when i'm sober and by myself and slightly chilled, exhausted
it's mine but i don't feel it's mine
i don't feel like anything at all
but tonight I'm not sure
feeling nothing used to be bad
but being nothing feels like it might be relief
raenona Dec 2015
scars are just another type of memory but all of my scars scare me
some deep, some thin
some from yesterday,
some within
these lines each have a story
some because i deserved it,
some because i couldn't handle it
raenona Dec 2015
,
the last time i saw you,
i could hear my heart breaking
i felt it between us,
the distance
i tried to stay hopeful,
i saw it in your eyes
how did we get to this point,
it was like the timing was off
you were thunder,
i was lightning
e.m.w.
raenona Dec 2015
the first time you told me how you felt you were drunk
i was holding the neck of a bottle of bacardi
we kept taking shots
you held my face

"you're so beautiful"

you'd tell me to look at you
i wish i could've said something
i wish could've walked out the door

              "im so sorry"

you called me baby
i wasn't yours but i could be

"you're so beautiful"

               "ill always be here"

i didn't speak for a minute
i couldn't believe i was living

by the time i finished the bottle
and you finished your beers
i promised myself i wouldn't believe a word you said
i grabbed your hands and you clutched me
like a stairway railing
we walked to your room
i had to help you take your contacts out

"i like you so much"
    
                "why were you dancing with him"

i fell in love with you
i fell in love with that feeling
i fell in love with your slurred words, your blurry eyes

i didn't mean to fall in love that night
d.stanfill
raenona Dec 2015
i hate that i loved it
the guilt didn't take over
"we've been waiting to do this for so long"
you whispered my name
"don't think about it"
all i could think about
was that you were slowly killing me
i knew i couldn't have you
i hate that i loved it
d.stanfill
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