You haven’t
So we sing.
Off key
Out of tune
You and me
Swing dancing
To the sound of me
The sound of you
Fine, the sound of we
Swing dancing to our heart beat
There’s beauty here
Spin and dip
And our eyes lock
The microwave beeps

"my parents warned me about drugs on the street, but never the ones with green eyes and a heartbeat."

You shouldn't fall in love with me
Because in the beginning,
I'll be swaying back and forth
Won't be sure if the leap is worth it
And you'll be mad, that I'm wavering
You shouldn't fall in love with me
I'll want to go really really slow,
Like a turtles pace slow
And then I'll want to speed the hell up
And then go really really slow
And then, if for some reason,
You're still sticking around,
Then I'll become fully comfortable
Most likely

I guess if I had to say it
I'm afraid of being in a relationship
What if I mess it up
What if I don't meet expectations
What if I'm not good at being romantic
What if I'm not compatible
What if
What if
What if

My bedsheets are soaked in memories and emotions
A stain of blood there, some drips of tears there,
A warm imprint of people who once held each other there
I put them in the wash, but they don't seem to come out

Start slow...
     warming... up...and...below
         forty five degrees
            to the left...right...others go nineties...
       some freeze...from locked knees
   they don't mind...they'll recover
          before the hour is over...

Detach self
    from what
       surrounds
             but...still aware
                connected...
            agitation
        soon to be lessened
   eventually....calmed

Focus...
   exercise
       stabilize
    synchronize
        visualize
     internalize
  energize!

Endure!
               An ant bites at the back of your ear
         something's  crawling on your tummy
     beads of sweat, drop across your eyes,
or inside your ear...you feel the cold touch within
    
A bee, a wasp...sometimes, a fly
      circles very near your face
           makes your wall of
                concentration, crumble
              tempting you to lose count
          of the movements
      testing you...
   if you might still stray...even
      a step away...
          if, to your weaknesses
      you would still succumb

          will you be distracted?
             or stay focused?

Let eyes, and mind blink
     One...two...three...quickly!
            be grounded!
                stay on the right track.....

               Exercise!
               ...visualize....
               ... internalize.....
               ...never give up!



Sally


Copyright September 21, 2015
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

I've been split open
Sewn up and made new
But even the finest surgeon
Couldn't get rid of you