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209 · May 2021
Who Knows Me Better
020421

Every time I write,
I sing the hymn of my spirit.
And every time I speak,
It’s Your breath that moves the mountains.

I thought my heart and my head know me better
Than any person ever will...
There’s not much to say,
But there’s so much to be written —
It’s like You talking to me.
208 · Aug 2024
Open Eyes
073024

I  store series of stories in my eyes —
Numbing baggages and broken tires.
In the midst of every split second,
Those who fall short lay their nest
Defying their shells and stitching their wounds.

And yet every tear has thousands of words,
Before it spills out into the oceans of the unknown.
There’re notions to unfold, motions untold.
Distraught and yet it brings the purest worship,
Singing hymns of praise like a roaring lion.

I hear the echoes of my own entity,
The lamentation of the inner child within me.
She speaks the alphabets of her journey,
Every rhyme’s a new mime
Mimicking the old times —
The few times she drives herself home.

There’s crimson in her eyes,
There’s a prison when she cries.
Her heart’s a burning furnace —
I touch it with my trembling fingertips
And everything turned into deep smokes.

“This too shall pass”
Her hopes are high and there’re no boundaries
For the miracles she believed in.
Now she’s ready to emerge
Witnessing the splitting of the oceans,
Hoping to rewrite her story.
206 · Apr 2020
Is It Time?
032020

One of these faded nights,
I got awakened with revelations over my pillows.
I heard something I longed to compare
With something already present.

It was actually last night,
But my eyes were still shut
So I can’t recognize if it’s a dream or not.

It’s not a sweet sound
Nor a horrific one
It’s not even as long as my breathing per second,
Not even as short as the whisper of the wind.

But to recall —
I was like, “Is this the time?”
I’ve heard it but I was not sure where it came from,
I was never sure if I truly woke up or not.

So today, it was different
But I’ve got reminded of God’s promises
That He’s coming back so soon —
So soon that one will no longer his/her name.
010321

I left my past behind me
Not because it’s unimportant.
It’s just that —
It’s so true that nothing can be compared w/ Jesus.

We have choices to make each day,
And we always have something to rant about
We even share secrets and
We’re too human,
At times, I’m hating myself too.

Doing this and that
Makes us crazy in some ways
We’ve been so busy w/ what’s temporary
We lie to ourselves.. and so on.
201 · Nov 2022
Home
051421

To the man who always does what he says,
I am blessed to be pursued by you.
You’ve taught me what consistency is
Despite my inconsistency.
You bear, believe, hope, and endure all things.

As for me and our house, let’s serve the Lord.
Together, let us rise from the ashes –
Bearing one Name; hailing one Name.

Let’s build a place and call it home,
To call it our own.
And regardless of our factions,
Let us aim with one Hope.

In You, I am safe;
Love is your name.
I am home, finally Home.
When Jesus rose again,
He didn’t look for the rich men;
He looked for his disciples —
To whom he made a promise.

There was no spirit of condemnation,
There were no words of:
“Why did you go back to your old life (fishing)
while you know I was gone for a while?
I even told you that I will be resurrected
And so here I am..”

He just asked them,
“Do you love me more than these?”
Jesus gave them a tricky question,
Since he already knew their answer
With their decision of fishing again.

It was again God’s love —
His grace for the world to be saved.
It was another chance for his disciples
To regain what was lost
And to restore them
From where Jesus led them to
Before dying in the Cross.

It’s like Jesus saying,
“Here I am and I have died for you to live;
And since I was resurrected back to life
And so are you —
You have a share of eternal life.

It’s like assuring them
That if they leave everything behind
For the cause of God’s mission,
The rest will follow; as their submission.

His disciples never knew
That their obedience “that time”
Was the reason why we know
What the Gospel is.
They never dreamed to be fishers of men;
They badly dreamed of simply surviving.

I had this conversation on the island,
One told me, “I’ve tried reading the Bible but it’s hard to comprehend.”
As I told her how to start it and encouraged her,
I felt what they actually need —
They need firm spiritual support.
197 · Mar 2020
Best Version
“You can’t be the best in everything
but you can be the best version of yourself.“
- SYL 2020
197 · Apr 2021
Pour the Bowl with Waters
033121

As I set foot on the shore,
Even the oceans tell me how uncounted the strands of my hair,
How unknown the future is,
And how life remained borrowed.

The waves just turned red —
Into anguish, into anger, into distress.
As if the battle has just started
And that the white flag has been waved already.

I pleaded for a discerning heart
To uproot the cause of such severe pain,
To make me pause & think a li’l bit,
‘Bout things I haven’t pondered before.

If I set foot on the rock
Despite the raging waters that communicate,
The uprooting of adversities.
Would I remain in peace?
Would my words turn into praise?
Would I still sing the hymn of my soul?

I stroll into the depths of myself
As if I’m diving the open seas —
Being a recipient of the open skies,
As my skin tastes the bitter rain.

I hear the ocean sprinkling its tears,
The weight upon his invisible shoulders,
Devouring my thoughts —
Captivating what I can.. what I must do.

I surrender as I sink in,
The words that come from my mouth.
The words that I should have spoken...
The words that I resisted...
For all of these —
Seemed to have never existed.

I forgot what I’m up to
And why I fought with my own will...
I surrender with the thoughts unclear,
With questions unanswered...
And it’s not “just” by faith —
It is by FAITH!

Every time I renounce my flaws,
The searching goes on —
Searching the presence of my Beholder.
And every time my “wrong” fruit is pruned,
It’s not that easy like resisting the oceans.

For if dying to self means reliance on the Rescuer,
Then I let myself float & not fight back.
My will I understand that it’s not my own —
At the very beginning, it has never been mine.

Let these crowns & pieces of jewelry of life
Be taken away from me;
But the joy, the peace, the love...
Let these remain.

Let Godly things remain; not just the “good” things...
So I can fully devote myself
In the process of surrender,
To the waiting & to being still.

His grace is sufficient for me,
Just like the waters that never run dry.
As I also witnessed the waters coming out from nowhere,
When He uttered, “Pour the bowl with water..”

May His provision manifest
In the ways, I have not expected
Like the moving of the mountains,
Like having faith that is unshakeable.

Now I know, that my heart belongs nowhere,
To no one but Him...
As I seek the highest peak of who I really am...
No one has ever sought me to save me...
Like what the Rescuer has done, not in vanity.
190 · Mar 1
Dwelling Place
030125

I sink in the vast oceans of grace,
I wait for You, my Lover,
The One who loves my soul,
My Redeemer who lives and reigns forever.

Even the elders bow before You,
Their voices lift in endless praise, singing, "Holy, holy, holy,"
A symphony that never ceases—
We were created for one purpose: to worship You eternally.

Beautiful are You,
And beautiful are all Your works.
You are the Light that guides my path,
Never ignoring a single cry of mine,
You answer and comfort, holding me close in Your embrace.

In my victories and my deepest distress,
You are always present; You are my rock, my foundation.
You have built my life upon a solid foundation,
And written my name in Your eternal Book of Life.

I wonder, what could the Heavens truly be like—
Without You, could they even be called Heaven?
I gaze at the sky, searching,
But when I look within my heart,
I find You already there, dwelling within me.
189 · Apr 2020
Wonders
041120

You bring wonders to our hearts
And set fire deep within us
Your Words are our might,
Flying arrows of enemies are shut -- You are a consuming fire.

You bring us to the depths of this world
For us to gain endurance by grace
All the hardships in this world
Are not too great with what You've already done
You shed Your blood, You have saved us!

We call unto You in our imperfections
You remain the same like no other
You are faithful with Your Words
And You are a shield to those who seek You
The strong tower where we run
In calamities and all arrows.

You are our Father in Heaven,
The Bestower of grace that's so sufficient
Sin has no hold on us
For we are in Your arms
You're the light in our darkness
And no darkness cannot tame You.

We love because You first loved us
You created us in Your Image
That is the image of Jesus Christ,
The Way, the Truth, and the Life
Let us not be tired these days,
For You shall come soon
And so we prepare and get ready,
Your Kingdom is coming soon!
187 · Apr 2020
Magnified
032520

There’re trees in the backyard,
And they remind me of a Truth,
That You‘re the vine and we’re the branches
And so here we remain in You and You in us,
You bear us the fruit of wisdom,
For nothing, we cannot do apart from You.

There’re fruits on the table,
And among them, I found one who’s sweet,
It tastes good in my soul,
Oh, it gives me inner peace.
What a delight it is to have confidence in You
That even on bitter days, my taste’s become better.

There’re birds outside the window,
And here they’ve found shade for a while...
The curtain welcomes and we share the same air,
Just like how the same rain pours into good and bad,
The God who whispers strength to the weak,
Is the same God who humbles the proud.

There’re fishes in different oceans
But only a fisherman knows how to bait them right,
As when Jesus called his disciples
He called them by the names they didn’t even mention.
He saw what was inside them, what others’ outlook
And that’s how You save and keep saving.

Everything in this world is temporary
But those temporary things magnify one Name,
They speak one Truth and never contradict
As wisdom runs unto the veins of the lost.

As Your sheep, we hear You call
The beauty of Your words becomes refreshment to our souls
We are alive in Your whispering,
And we hear You shouting over every misery.
187 · Nov 2022
Heads Up, My Child
021722

I ponder the days that passed by,
And how I wish I could go back in time
But here I am – testifying the things
That God has done in my life.

Amidst the messy place,
He started answering one of my prayers
And it was an old prayer
And truly His timing was unpredictable.

When God answers,
It is never on our timetable
For He exceeds our understanding,
He exceeds our expectations.

I woke up in His arms today
And I’ve felt that I was in His hands
He carries me and He covers me –
He protects me and He will redeem me.

Tears I pour out on His shoulder
Even if everything seems imaginary.
I saw Him lifting my head
Like a father telling his child,
“It will be alright.”

He says I can trust in Him
And in Him, I can lay all my burdens.
One day, He will set me free
And He will drive away what is plotted against me.

Oh Lord, I find strength in You when I am weak,
I find favor in Your eyes for You have never left me.
I found hope in Your promises
And heaven and earth will pass away
But Your Words will never come to an end.

You speak no lies against me,
You know me so well, my Lord
You keep me on my feet
And I have nothing to boast about.

Lord, You are my Saviour even from the very beginning
And Your truth was never a lie
No one can imitate Your greatness
No one can take You away from Your throne.

I can hear You everywhere I go,
When people encourage me, I see that it is You.
And when they pray and lay their hands,
It is You who touch me.
061824

I give you my world,
And You give me the universe.
I open my heart to You,
And You dwell within me.

I lift my hands to praise You
And You reign like a roaring thunder.
The galaxy belongs to You —
How tiny I am and yet you see me through.

My years are in the palm of Your hands—
Written by the blood of your Son…
Beloved and precious,
A King who’s always on the throne.

Your love remains steadfast,
Your grace is like the rain
Showering me every now and then
So my soul can dance with You.

I long to see You face to face
But I wait patiently
Before the curtains unveil the coming glory
And before I commit my spirit
And find its rest with You.
177 · Apr 2020
There is No
031320

There is no weakness in You —
Your Name is power and strength,
You are my light and confidence,
In this world that’s not tired to alter.

There is no impossible in You —
Your Name is shield and security,
I see prayers as a strong weapon
In this world full of manmade adversaries.

There is no sorrow in You —
You are the joy in my heart,
The peace who calms my soul,
In this world full of clamors and anxieties.

There is no oppression in You —
You are the voice deep within me,
That bold conviction of saying “No!
To this world full of temptations and sins.

You will be forever praised,
The throne is still Yours and we’re simply here just a glimpse,
In these borrowed golden times we don’t forget,
That it is You who keeps us alive and awaken still.
177 · Jul 2024
Love Potion
070324

It was a poison to see you face to face
Relying on your strength
And making your worst nightmares
Came back to life.

Torn pages, torn soul —
Adding so much pain
Pulling the trigger
Just so you can fly.

You stutter when tears run down
Your hidden gems were treasure to me.
I know, one day you’ll overcome
And I will stop provoking you
To unlove yourself
So you’ll get over every trauma.

I hope you’re doing good
You are my number one —
You are worth it, you are loved
You are never abandoned.

Take heart —
Self, you can do so much more.
Keep running, keep your FAITH.
162 · Jan 2020
The Sound of the Breaking
012020

There are lives taken,
Also, lives were shaken;
There are lives missing,
Also lives mourning.

We pay no penny
For the world to rush death;
But we’re humans with feelings
Gettin’ hurt, losing breath.

There’s news that seems new
But looking back, they’re too old.
There’re fears that still haunt us back
There’re nightmares out of loss.

There’re moments when we cry,
But they're no tears in our eyes.
And moments when we shout,
But we become mute in disguise.

There’re those who laugh so hard,
With their peers sheltered in their eyes.
And there’re those who speak of freedom
While having murmurs with white lies.

When in pain, we’re like standing by:
We’re both waiting and wanting —
Waiting for the rescue
That we ponder elsewhere to barter.
And wanting this unending pain to halt —
To simply leave our empty shells;
For we’ve fought hard enough.

But in pain, we have known comfort
No firm faith to distort.
We’ve tasted deliverance from hard grips;
Surely there’s peace of mind in hardships.

We’ve known love while viciously longing
For everything on whole, we consider as a calling.
We begin to surrender our broken pieces,
Prayers turning down tragedies into ashes.

We begin —
Not to put emphasis on our weaknesses,
But rather mention the Name
Who has called us into complete holiness.

If all of these was sudden,
If all of these have agenda to make,
If all of these are part of the whole,
Then it has a name to be unfolded.

And if all of these has a Name —
Then this must be the sound of the breaking
But in the breaking, there is unity;
And there is Jesus, knocking on our entity.
155 · Jan 16
My One that Got Away
011725


I remember the moments
whenever I see your face,
whenever I speak your name,
or when I wander into places
where it felt like you were there.

When you brushed the baby hairs from my cheek
and whispered, "You're worth it."
When you held my hand,
leading us to pray with words,
"Lord, we don’t know why we’re here."

When you sent me verses,
effortlessly sharing encouraging reels,
when you called and told me stories
of how God had moved in your day.

When you knew how to calm me,
your voice, a soothing balm,
leading me away from noon’s harsh sun
so I wouldn’t be scorched by its rays.

When peace came so naturally with you,
and I imagined you as the father of my children,
never giving me cause for doubt or jealousy,
telling me, "You're the most beautiful in my eyes."

The sweetest things are found in the smallest details,
but you gave up so easily,
even after promising to wait,
even after saying you'd never stop praying for me.

But I guess those days are over,
and I have my own regrets.
I was too afraid to let go and choose you,
so you became the man who got away.

I hope you understand how much you meant to me,
how real it all was.
I only wish I had known—
before it was too late.
052625

It rained.
The sky trembled,
and so did I—
waking in the hush of lateness,
a body unraveling in silence.
Illness came not like thunder,
but like memory—
quiet and overdue.

Weeks ago,
voices too young to understand
asked me things I couldn’t answer.
I smiled.
But something inside
went missing.
So I closed the door
before the next knock.
I named it fear,
but maybe it was a kind of vanishing—
the way I’ve always slipped through
before connection could tether me.

Trust—
a thin, brittle bridge
between islands.
I walked it once.
Now I float
in my own weather.

I thought
I was finished breaking.
That the years had made me whole.
But strength is not stillness.
And even stone remembers
how to fall.

There were worries
I tore from my own hands,
pages I left blank
so no one could read me.
And yet—
this morning,
I unwrapped something fragile
I had wrapped in forgetting.

And it was me.
Still here.
Still trying to become.
99 · May 4
Echoes
050425

How would you like to keep your heart?
Tell me.
Taken by the world?
Or settled...
in your truth,
your real identity?

'Cause listen—
Many walk around hollow,
No sensitivity in their speech,
Throwing words like daggers
Never stopping to see who bleeds.

The hurt...
Yeah, yeah—
Hurt people hurt people.
But let me tell you something—
In this world?
In this real life?
The hurt…
still get hurt.
Again.
And again.

And they’re tired.
Tired.
Of trusting—
Just to lose it all
All over
Again.

And then act like
Nothing.
Ever.
Happened.

They carry that pain—
But it ain't just pain,
It's trauma
From way back—
Childhood days
Teenage haze
And all those late-night,
"What if I had…?"
conversations
They never say out loud.

Worries for tomorrow?
Yeah.
Stacked like cages
Inside their chest.
Each breath—
A protest,
A plea,
A whisper that says:
"Please… let it stop."

But still…
They breathe.
Not ‘cause it’s easy.
Not ‘cause it doesn’t ache.

They breathe
‘Cause deep down—
Somewhere in the cracks,
Where the light still gets in—
They believe.

Believe that maybe,
One day,
The tears that fall in silence
Will finally be seen.

And someone,
Somehow,
Will wipe them away—
Gently.
Like they matter.
97 · May 9
Revive
050925


They bloom without question,
Then vanish in rhythm.

No one ever sees the final surrender,
Its quiet return,
The sky’s last tear—
The ground’s soft ache.

But fall is not a loss—
It is rest,
A pause,
A stillness
Holding the shape of return.

While Love, unnamed,
Waits in the marrow of time,
Ready to rise
When nothing expects it.
0 · May 25
Remembered
052625

You heard me—
didn’t You?
Before my breath remembered shape,
You were already in the room
beneath the silence.

Sometimes I wonder—
why do You knock
before the door forgets it’s closed?
Why so soon,
so loud,
so gentle?

I didn’t believe in these things—
not the wind that speaks,
not the hush that burns.
But You— You’re God!
You’ve always been different.
And I,
always unraveling
in the sound of Your name.

This fragment—
the one I’ve hidden
under bone and memory—
You held it like it was Yours,
whispered it back to me
in a voice that felt like mine.

I know—
Your clocks are not my clocks.
Your roads curve where mine end.
Still,
I ask.

But I remember
who You are—
how You turn present pain
into seeds
for futures I cannot see.

So take it—
this now,
this ache,
this unopened hour—
and write it
into whatever tomorrow
You’ve already dreamed.

— The End —