Laying awake and staring at blank walls
With no one around to make me feel ten feet tall
All I have are warm memories and butterfly kisses
Mixed with the green monster throwing hard pitches
You may say that passion gets the best of me
Call it erratic but I strive on feeling free
Intrigued by the unknown of thoughtless choices
But since passion gets the best of me, there's no need for voices.
Skeletons are engraved in my closet
My heart can be cold and my morals are far from solid
I want to trust my gut and just fall
But breaking down these walls will be the worst part of all
Some pieces of the puzzle should stay left out
Although left incomplete, you'll still see what it's about
because passion gets the best of me
It makes these pages hard to read
Causing my heart to swell up with greed
But if I don't break I'll never know how
To let these feelings speak volume or as much as they allow

"It was too easy". she said,
As she crawled under her covers.
It was all too easy.
It was mindless.
I wasn't even there.
Would it even have made a difference if I was?
Probably not.
They just don't care.
They pretend you're who they wish you would be.
Not who you actually are.
"It doesn't matter" she said,
"It's just business".
It's just the way things are.
You can look at is as an awakening lullaby,
That sings you sweetly into oblivion.
You can pretend the stars glisten bright when they aren't to be found.
You can look into his eyes and see warm rays shine from within.
"It's just lust" she said.
Those feelings don't exist.
You're just a mouse going blindly into the trap.
Except you aren't blind.
You can see, you can see everything. just like everybody else.

if i knew how to play
the guitar i would
write the sappiest love
songs for you
but sadly, darling, i am
musically impaired

if i knew how to paint
i would color
the most glorious sunsets
just for you
but sadly, darling, i am
artistically limited

if i knew how to sew
i would patch up
the torn seams
of your heart
but sadly, darling, i have no
idea how to use a needle

if i knew how to cook
i would make your
favorite desserts
to sweeten up your day
but sadly, darling, my
only specialty is burnt eggs

oh darling,
i am not good at many
things but if there is
one thing that i
can do well, oh my darling,
that is loving you.

one day,
i will fly.
i will fly above pain,
i will fly above sorrow,
and that day might not be tomorrow,
but i'll fly.
i'll fly to the moon,
to the highest cloud,
i'll fly over the damning crowd
that said i wouldn't soar.
oh, i'll fly.
i'll open up my big brave wings,
in myself i will believe,
and i'll fly and i will sing
and i will be all that i was meant to be
when i fly.

I've been told; life is all about growth and maturity
Leaving the nest and learning to take on and embrace your surroundings
Then explain why I feel as though I'm shrinking, constantly fighting these ongoing insecurities? 
 
People always preach about being true to who you are
The unknown galaxy of the delicate mind is somehow bigger than our own body
Exile the unworthy nightmares and follow the dreams that may appear bizzar
 
But what do you do when you're all alone in a crowded room?
And extraversion and introversion are the two demons playing tug of war?
I wish I were plain and simple like a white rose, just allowing myself to bloom
 
What do I do when the glorious stars lose their twinkle?
Once so bright and majestic, now blurry and incoherent
How should I uproot these sorrows, when they're so profound and as deep as wrinkles?
 
If the lies and confusion are steering clear of the shadows of hope
And these tears, sharp as daggers are supposed to seize to a stop
Then why does it seem as though everything is heading in a downward *****?
 
It reminds me of a beautiful bird trapped in an iron barred cage
Struggling, and flapping it's wings in deprivation of escaping
It could shrill and cry, but no one shows interest in it's excruciating rage
 
If razors weren't sharp and scissors had no blades
If skin were tougher than rubber
Would these unruly memories and tortured thoughts drift into the distance and fade?
 
I despise how the facts are too hard to handle and never good enough
No matter how much you strive for change, god's never on your side
And frankly, I'm exhausted from putting up walls and having to always be so tough
 
No matter how hard I try, I am still lost and weak
Searching for the true meaning in blank canvased skies
At a loss of how to correct a lack of color in this never ending streak
 
I know who Faith is, and hopefully she'll grace her presence upon me soon
Maybe she'll teach me how to expand my wings and soar into the horizon
Allowing sublimity to perfuse like a butterfly, rather than falling into the darkness of a constricted cocoon

No one knows what it's like
to truly be lost
to truly be lost in space
space of which was your home
I don't know whether to miss you
or to erase you
All I know is how much I care
and that the thought of you gone
is too much to bare
I wish you were simple
I wish I were simple too
But now I'm just surviving in the big old blue
without a paddle
without a boat
Without you