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Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
AIA
Genghis Khan :
                          Mataias Khim
She's shaking.
Unstable.
For the taking.
Swallowed in fog.
Connection is lost.
She's cut off
From herself.
She's cut off.
Can't get out.
There is no where but here.

"Disappear. Disappear."
She whispers.

"I am here. I am here."
She answers.

"Tell me." He says,
"Tell me all that you dread."

And her fears spoke louder
Than anything ever said.
Inspired from learning about polyvagal theory and the feeling of being "stuck" in the sympathetic state (fight/flight/freeze) or dorsal (collapse). Speaking about where youre at can help you bring back ventral state to the foreground, the beneficial state, the ability to have connectedness at ease.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
Ma-chew:
or Maciu....
i think that's me
Hebrew endearment
while i
have surname
no surname like
Nike
Windsor
Radziwithe vague fog of a people of
reicarnation
like dog to frog
is similis exemplar purpose
that pro-
that self-
-evident of a life? ein lieb?!
the lived?
i don't want
the experiuence of
life:
i want the lived: life!
i want memory intact!
i want Alexander
and Edie as
as before i say: heyho Tod!
life was a blessing
because of
Alexander and Edie...
and i want to dance
and sing
and be naked
and O
mighty... that night...
that night among any...
with natural history...
O joy just to behold...the vague fog of a people of
reicarnation
like dog to frog
is similis exemplar purpose
that pro-
that self-
-evident of a life? ein lieb?!
the lived?
i don't want
the experiuence of
life:
i want the lived: life!
i want memory intact!
i want Alexander
and Edie as
as before i say: heyho Tod!
life was a blessing
because of
Alexander and Edie...
and i want to dance
and sing
and be naked
and O
mighty... that night...
that night among any...
with natural history...
O joy just to behold...

Ł: boga...

Łogos.....
tam czas.... szszszs shshshshsh....
i am masculine catharsis in
writing:
you are that in ***....
i love Edie's ***
i love Edie's ***...
her sexuality translates
into  a *** i love to read
**** and ***
all open and mouth
Eva Notty getting oiled,
massaged....
*** in the mouth

3 limp masturbations
god i miss her
her
her *** not her sexuality
this woman
i want part three
Woozy,
thailand...
faithless...

               DEVADEVAM...
D.... i see abehheive#a
a beehive of apostrophes...
and y - adjunct....

         Disemvoweling...
this entrey didn't exist....
until i asked
the question...

replacing the vowels with
apostrophes
y = '
yod.....

                    -
lossely....

      hyphwen.... velsh:
i muster my troops of Velsh
and the Scots against
the English...

i abhor the Anglo-Saxon
arrogance:
Normans: Danes: Vikings:
Anglo-Slavs....
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
An answer to ha-shem:
Yahweh...
   I am ha-yakim...
Jak i Kim...
        If I don't disappear
into India and among
the Ummah in the next year
**** me forever!
Ha'Akim said.
Y (serpent)

Δ (man)

∇(Gods)

now slide the hexagram
across the allingment
to the clock
with the *******
turn the Star of David
to the side...
with the *******...

A carpet with an open
book... "geometry".

and by... Ha-Yakim (Ha'akim)
I say:
The or... He who knows
Yah-ah-Kim...
         He who knows....
Himself as who knows who
Knows and himself: doesn't
Know...

       Ja: Kim?!
I: who are you? Ha:
not so much a definite article
borrowed from Hebrew:
but I do laugh a lot.

Kto ty?! Who are you?
Ja... jam jest ja...
No to kwitkiem: ten kto.
Quo owo ash vadis.
Quis es?    Owo... ovo:
one you two uu voltzwagen
diabolical polo.

A generation of souls
rescued from
the liturgy of the celebrated
Mongol Khan...
Of those known by a different
surf of history:
the Khim.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
and on her 13th birthday... she had a pool party and night before I talked with Edie and... grandma... while baking a dry sponge, strawberry, vanilla, glaze... ridiculous... I guess long term relationships only work when you live in the bellybutton 0 meantime of London... and your love scandal is 18 years older than you and on the island of Kauai... then she talks about her past boyfriends... you get jealous... fine: fibrous... fine fine...adds to my character to chew... but then... then...she shows you pictures of her fron her youth... ... ... ... ... get a proper I.Q. m.o.t. if you don't get my, ******* surf / drift as to what I'm insinuating; ****.

I cry,
And the weapons
Of tears
That come running
From my eyes
Slither
Winding
Into my ears
And I am born
With the Gemini-Tongue.
Breeding Taurus
With a Virgo...
O joyous child
Reyla my dearest concept
My crocodile affectionate
why why why
O... whimper blue hue who...
I love you so dearly,
Never mind regarding
Whether you're mine,
Or not...

this much time...
I allow you...
take comfort, but also
take concern...
for hooves,
for cobblers,
foe for foe....
the crippling "agriculture"
of English culture
via Afganistan
near Arabs to the Romans....

for neckties and
buttons... ooh...
Smaug might asssssssk...
Button fiddler?
Shoe shiner?
A tailor, misnomer...
a tyer of...shoelaces?
and of tonguessssss?

You walk the same shoes
but with only one tongue?
shame on humanity
for not being:
at least! Commonly,
collectively, bilingual...
If! So much gay ****
gets celebrated
like Nus the **** deity
Of **** gets celebrated
like peekaboo Lucifer
throwing tantrums
descending from rhe trauma
of a sea in the heavens
being born via a ****.

Defunct Islam...
two eyes, two feet...
two ears... two hands...
Dajjal replies...
Well well well...
Allah is not one eyed?
Oh wow... wow wow wow...
bur he's only equipped
with one tongue...
Blindman of the Desert...
So Allah has two eyes...
but only ONE tongue?
What a strange blindness
to be thus, celebrated...
two eyes but only one to tongue...
I guess... pity the blind man
and a speaker of seven tongues.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
to borrow from laissez-faire... permettre d'être... in terms of "god" and "soul"... for the latter i have the scientific conversion to Sigma: sum+... or what is that animates... but doesn't give purpose or meaning, while "god" is what inhibits animation and for that reason, gives reason, purpose and meaning... just to establish something beyond the socially-scientific sniffing and self- prefix automation spaghetti monstrosity... or as the Beatles sung (I ******* hate the Beatles, more an ABBA fan)... let it be... minimal scientific interference in the cognitive development of an "individual"... so scoffing and toy-bluffing at someone becoming whole... and perhaps good... without a need or desire to explain the world scientifically... maybe a cave dweller, a Sunday worshipper at church... but certainly not hindrance to me... ergo... the improvised term on laissez-faire.

Surely, outside the realm
of trajectory,
algebra, "comcerns"
for arithmetics...
geometry... an association
of the birth of number
from letter by
equivalent denotation:
chicken... letter...
egg... number...
what came first?
the letter, then? the word...
subsequently:
a number and a sum:
equivalent of a word...
although numbers that enjoy
the functionsbility of:
    ÷
+     -
    ×             cannot be applied
to words; are vowels odd "numbers"
while consonants are even?

Summary of listening to:
HG Moeller
with Robert Sapolsky...
determinism...
whatever the scientific argument
is... no... we never had
free will...
since before the scientific
entanglement... there was the will
of god... and people
were o.k. with that...

free will must have come about
circa the time of abolishing
slavery...
god willing, god binding...
freedom has no surveyonce
of symbiosis
at best: a most tactful approach
to reciprocating concerns.

So if there is metaphysics...
and physics is what best undermines
thr complexity of biology
and chemistry...
then there surely must
               be a metamathematics...
to underpin philological
stability for intellectual thirst...
interest: virility of vivo per se.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
ganz egal: like for like, it makes no difference... diff rrr... trill rasp of Rasputin in Vlad and Myrhh... the Germanic ontological constitution of constraints and the purity fetish... cult... what is purity and why is it only ascribed to a concern for evil: pure evil whereas the good is impish and denotes an article: the good vs pure evil... because rheumatoid purity... because pure evil is THE good... evil can be given a stance of being incoruptible too, n'est ce pas? otherwise, what, the ****, is worth, salvaging: to begin with?!

As I overheard my coworker
thinking aloud,
seeing how we hit it off with
a silent agreement about cutting
half an hour off each other shifts...
the words: 'I didn't see that coming...'
well yeah! Ha ha ah ha ha...
that's why I came!
I came when the crucifix
was no longer the driftwood
of history for the succulent
popish leeches to overpower
the illiterate with "magic"...
I came just on time...
not with the exhaustio(s) of
the Holocaust: just the disintegration
of the Soviet Empire...
two weeks shy of popping my head
out of a **** and a mother
and mighty the streaks of Chernobyl's
autumn in spring... ha ha...
"I didn't see that coming..."
that's why I came! Ah ha ha ha...
I came to bail out my brothers
seeing them forever teasing humanity
within the confines of coulrophobia
and those trees and those clouds
and all that is insomniac via pareidolia...
well... if God is still this mystical
spirit of changelessness, akin to what
Kiekegaard stressed...
surely a lesser judge concerning
pareidolia since not Islam
can give argument: what naturally
occurs and is not iconoclasm...
or... idol worship... hey sleepy boy
Adam... thin Lizzy oh such love
for London and Cracow I have
that Rome and Jerusalem might
as well crumble into their now achieved
status as the ***** and... Gomorrah.
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