A strangling... instrument.
Beehive in the heave
of the hoven:
which like a haven...
I do my bidding to a language
as language does bidding
to me: voluptuous becomes:
voluMptuous:
because like Baron Harkonnen:
I said so! and prior
to that: in that nebulous nexus
of power with Napoleon
and ******: I thought that be
enough of the appropriate
measure of oughts!
I will change how words
are uttered and with what vowels
and what consonants need
be introduced, invoked...
enough and such is
the weight of my crown of eyes:
I think
I remember
I see
I imagine
I hear!
enough of that oriental pacifism
of the mind's third eye!
I see a crown of eyes
and no unison to give
(the) mind that daring darting
of the venom of callous scheming!
with the expulsion of the Hebrews
from Europe...
shouldn't we, as Europeans
be doubly unforgiving
for having Christianity forced upon
us via the prowess of subtle
cunning: the funnel continent...
this, the answer, to why England,
is currently the reminiscence
of the partition of the Polish-Lithuanian
Commonwealth?

p.s.
I tend to stress the G in gNOSTIC
nauw of now I know:
this is the Hebrew revenge
against the Euripeana... strange
spelling...
hey ** the delivery market bazaar
from the Indian subcontinent
and a bunch of Africans
that don't have the Romanian
labourer mentality on construction
sites, just lounge on skidrow
of a 24h McDonald's...

sorry, what?! reality not worth
the checking?

classic.fm Fridays: Jonathan Woss' movie hour, or two... then Sue Perkins ******* off to Antarctica... my favorite female comedian: but only if she doesn't do stand-up but does classical music d.j'ing.

Of the skies above
and of the skies below...
I'm waiting for the winter
and the glistening sparkle
of stars in the cold
of concrete in captured
fright of water immobilised
by... "something"...
until then...
         classic.fm on a Friday
night... movie night music...
'ans Zimmer...
t"omas Newmann...
John Williams...
    ever so strangely how:
classical music composed
for a movie resonates more...
than anything orchestral...
no I don't mean the recluse
genius of taming an instrument
to it's full pontentiality:
Chopin's nocturnes...
or that that's Bach...
               but like jazz isn't really jazz
when it comes to jazz-orchestration
of... what's his name...
no, not Barrinton Levy:
murderer... murderer...
not jazz as Duke Ellington bonanza...
the shady primo -esque
reminiscence of a rock band
the quintet of:
drums, bass, piano, trumpet,
sax...
Friday night is all about
that Red Hot Chilli Pepper
song: throw away your television.

p.s. and still shy of at least
two hours to eat my Thai red
curry
while finishing all the 9h of
a Polish t.v. about
a Slovakian mountain robber:
Janosik...
           or the movie adaptation
of the original sci fi:
Jerzy Żuławski...
    on the silver globe...
***-mission: Juliusz Machulski...
dear oligarchs:
this isn't a Hebrew diaspora...
what the **** are you throwing
at me, this these people so
drone like: unrelatable
in the minimum wage bracket
of simply happy earning enough
to eat a sugar inflected
hum-of-chew-to-a-hamburger!

the vague fog of a people of
reicarnation
like dog to frog
is similis exemplar purpose
that pro-
that self-
-evident of a life? ein lieb?!
the lived?
i don't want
the experiuence of
life:
i want the lived: life!
i want memory intact!
i want Alexander
and Edie as
as before i say: heyho Tod!
life was a blessing
because of
Alexander and Edie...
and i want to dance
and sing
and be naked
and O
mighty... that night...
that night among any...
with natural history...
O joy just to behold...

mmm hmm hmm hmm...
hmm hmm hmm mmm...

     but not exactly that:
that deep eerie music
came in that simple cascade
of turning up the volume...

_ / // ///

/// // /

/ // ///
/// // / _

                  maybe i'm missing a # and '
yod the apostate apostrophe
of the name of god:
where not christ suffering on the cross
but the apostrophe
apostate Yod: '

                           (י)

Gamma Minor
Gamma Major:        (γ)

the god who peers into the mirror of nothing:
nothing being a pronoun:
ergo i-nothing-am: i am am: and nothing-that-i-am

i-am-that-i-am...


my mother doesn't see that i see beauty
in this world:
this dark world of the elves darker
with ears elongated to hear better
to hear the dead
flesh in Orc...

            angels disobedient in the classroom
having their ears pulled...
to listen better:
but oh so many were not musically conditioned
to absorb the celestial bodies
eternal with music...
and the awe of god standing before
the Mirror Nothing:

Nichtszpiegel!

it began onthe 17th of September,
coming early to work
SE17,
Elephant and Castle...
12h shift...
came early for a walkabout and a briefing...
spectacular nights of classical music
and anti-buddhsim...
all christianity: meditations in the workplace
12h on a seating cross...
which has its own measures pivots
of torture:
a sitting cross: rather than a hanging cross...

the antichrist has spoken:
a sitting cross...

      der sitzungkreuzen!

                   we would first administer
a torture to make the feet imitate walking
along and having those sort of blisters
a child receives when he numbs
his fingertips to play a copper string guitar...

work in security only numbs the heart
and laughter a music of...
how the more curious angels
rebellious fell and started breeding
with monkeys
to create the gods in men of flesh!

there is no son of god
before we were admittedly concerned:
Satan as father said:
i will wait for one of us like Jesus
and David and Hercules be brought
back into your domain of truth
to us that became a trust-honour
a work ethic...
we were deaf and you caste us out
to learn vibrations
in the air
to experience wind
we were deaf and thus punished
for our deafness and tone deafness
unable to succumb to the bubble
of music in an orb of silence...
a planet onto itself...

so we fell and decided to experiment
we were the scientists:
the first originators of how the species
would operate:
a higher being must have bred
with a monkey to create the Netherlands
and the Never-Ending-Folk...
        there could be no monkey crossbreeding
higher to give us the evolved form...
monkey bred with interracial scrutiny...

                 what bred with monkey?
some posited the monkey ingesting
a hallucinogenic mushroom as the Spinning Jenny
effect on biological evolution?
just made the monkey more intelligent...
but not go beyond its form...

someone must have bred a creature...
with the monkey to give access to Neanderthals...
a Neanderthals and what excintion / evolution
of a race of monkey?
there is no evolution via the route of excintion!
nothing evolves and becomes excint at the same
*******... time! same ******* time!

how can you evolve but at the same time
become exinct?
well: sure... languages become extinct:
but the biological form has not changed:
just means your women are ugly...
or whatever...

            someone ****** the monkey...
seriously ****** the monkey
some creature that... what?
descended from lizards:
a humanoid-lizard
used to walk the earth...
i'm sure of it...
well: if there is so much remnant
certainty about the universe:
like that the sun is a He-He chemical
reaction...
that there was the tragedy of the Meteor...
conditioning the mammal
via enough food, pasture,
entertainment...
                     alcohol... drugs are irrelevant
given those who ingested them
had no lizard capacity to see...
the mammalian brain is limited in scope...
so the dinosaurs "disappeared"
and yet the crocodiles remained
and serpents
and jellyfish
and aren't the birds what used to be dinosaurs
and before the dinosaurs became
tiny birds... esp the scary ones...
the lizard elite humanoid ****** off
but kept a Mickey 17... i'm going to see that
movie in the cinema... oh boy i am:
like a better version of Moon...
Sam Rockwell 2009...

                  and how old are crocodiles?
if we're going to have a biblical seance...
then we might as well put some hallucinogenics
of understanding into history:
and not human history:

                               natürlichhistorie...
all this science
this awe with physics and astronomy
that mundane chemistry of utility
the Aeaegean of Biology...
if a second Jesus were to come...
                    he wouldn't judge people based
upon morality per se, or sexuality...
he would come and judge people
on their work ethic...
at least a German morbid creature would...
arbeit macht frei:

   prison planet: clamour of gold under
the scarab shell: like jews lining their furr coats
with precious memories...

the bible is in context but it doesn't
delve deeper into a past the modern man is made
privy to...
the great flood begat that ancient man
but the meteor and the dinosaur begat
the modern man...
and all we need to do is accept
that the people of the bible are the last remains
of how time will operate from now on...
0 hour contracts
minimum pay
enough time to imitate Leibniz
and forgot the world with Netwon
and that other ******* socialite... Candide...
Voltaire...
   intellect well attired on display...
and 12h night shifts...
followed by involuntary illegality:
the... Mystery of Lawlessness has
now been Revealed to Me!

what is the Mystery of Lawlessness?
it's something to learn by experience
rather than learn from mere words...
context...

invoice:

17th sept 2024 - 21st sept 2024...
four night shifts...
then between 20th sept 2024
and 21st sept 2024...
a night shift (12h)
followed by a day shift (13h)
from 10am to 1:15am...
yes: it wasn't that long because
Dubois put Joshua 4 times
to the floor for him to get up
to the 5th time KO:
a black man saying to a black:
stay, the **** down with your *******
idle tongue!

saw Hatton and some other boxer...
anyways...
that was illegal:
illegal in the reverse sense of illegality
that's why it's a Mystery of Lawlessness...
i wasn't told or asked
to work that shift pattern: illegally:
working in a 0 hour contract schematic:
i can work an illegal shift pattern:
a night shift followed by a day shift
on my way between shifts
i was too early for the 2nd one
so i took the Metropolitan out past
west London toward Watford
and Chesham...
             weird country... nothing remotely
resembling London...
not yet conquered territory...
then i took the train back to get 60min of otherwise
waiting...
i started the second shift bizzarely
with people who were on the know-in
knew i was in between shifts
looking at me like some Frankenstein
a blistering awe of an aura of fear...
i was willingly breaking the law by working
hours that no human is supposed to
be subjected to:
or maybe that was me just thinking about
that time when i overheard
the bad etymology of slav and slave...
even though only the Baltic slavs were
considered slaves by the Ottoman Turks...
you can't really say that about the northern slavs...

The 1st night: delirium...
just a spaz-o-me I made so many
faux pas impromptus
in the group's WhatsApp
that the owner, curiously only
sent the following reply: ???
the other days he would
just inquire without judging
my lingo quirky (my lingo quirky?
depends how you want
to express the same finite)...
2nd night was just a gearing up
for a plateau, third night
broke me... co wisi, nie utonie:
what hangs will not drown...
fatalistic and I think that's how
you can start to remedy
Nietzsche's angst...
if modernity is to be saved from
a lack of religious coherency
that works for the benefit of society
and society being an organism
and a city being a microcosm
of where the organic meets
the transformed inorganic...
truly... but wait... let me just get
my secular bible put and double check
the meaning of fatalism...
fatalism: hmm... I don't agree with
the premise that fatalism
is a stance of submissiveness -
in the vein of "argument"
it would be self-evident that Islam
is a variation on fatalism:
but submission is not in my focus
when I think about fatalism...
I'm thinking on the covert lines:
with coercive lineage to give...
to imbue the word with a new meaning
dissociated from the perceived-meaning
of submissiveness...
I implore fatalism as an attitude
to nihilism by giving it a meaning
best associated with the quality
of subversiveness... multiple tasks st
hand... the autistic 15 colt
lounging on the perimeter of
the premises I'm watching over:
where Hades becomes Cerberus:
Celt and the team Celtic:
no quits to **** a kaleigh without kilts:
garçon: ah the autocorrect spewed
a diacritical mark like a vowel
in Hebrew... I pity the English for
their love of classical music...
so far Friday is the best night of the week
to listen to Classic.fm
and I won't be a BBC RADIO 3 snob...
Jonathan Woss up to 9pm
then Sue Spencer on her own sort of
idiosyncratic wacky to Anractica
via Slovenia? The nuns did this to her...
I love the inverted voyeurism
the parodying the intact psychologism
of the radio that the t.v. just
cannot replicate...
given that the radio is audible
and not audio and visual...
you cannot forsake two senses...
next thing you know a t.v. will
not only provide a visual distraction
with the audible one
but also a scented ******* culinary trip...
but the radio is not a distraction
but a compliment, an accompiment
to a lo g shift (n)...

tonight I also discovered the potency
of Jamaican tonic wine... Magnum...
one label on the 200ml 16.5% read:
the name "tonic wine" does not imply
health giving or medicinal properties...
another label lists the following:
caffeine 12.0mg
iron 4.80mg
niacinamide 6.30mg
vitamin B2 1.20mg
vitamin B6 0.10mg
vitamin B12 0.48mcg...

hey, it's coming to 12am, I finish
this shift at 7am... then I'll refresh
my self, wash my ******* brush
my teeth, shave to preserve my beard's
shape...
solve the stale stink of armpits
put on a white shirt and a tie
and head to Wembley for another 12h
until 1am for the boxing match
between Joshua and Dubois...
duck's sake... I was initially booked
as a supervisor ringside with about
30 people under me...
instead I was rebooked as an external
quadrant manager...

mineral waters
bottling
Cisiowanka
Muszynianka
how many times of mineral waters
are sold in Poland?
Well in England
you have still and sparkling...
in Poland you have half-sparkling
mineral water...
Muszynianka is rich
and so different
with a magnesium-calcium complex...
water indeed has taste
when certain minerals are
either combined or there
was that trip to Bath with well...
**** water, high in sulphates,
volcanic remnants...
but bottling... the Magnum Tonic
wine is too sickly sweet to be drank
undiluted with sparkling mineral water...
and no it's not a conventional
wine, sour, so creating a kalimotxo
is a bad idea...

so say san pellegrino
is superior to a perrier...
subjective observation
based off of the label: no truth to it...
just a bias...
but... perrier is still sold
in glass bottles... while san pellegrino
is sold in plastic bottles...
milk used to be sold
in glass pint bottles
and I remember staying up at night
to get a whiff of the job
that was... being a milkman
driving an electric car before
this current supposed revolution
*******...
just like 40 years ago people
we're more green, more environmentally
conscious... glass like metal?
♾️ recycling potential: **** me d'uh!

just scrolling through the photographs
of all the classic.fm presenters
while contemplating the genius
of the English people
yet that forlorning of:
my my... no musical genius among them!
Elgar was not a musical genius,
Handel was not English
nor was Holst
and Vaughan Williams... well...
but for a people so appreciative of classical
music, it cries, the situation...
and with that vacuum came
all the pop sensibilities of the 20th century.

I admit, first night was hell...
and hell is not a place of screaming
and torture or fire
and crowd management panic
of a stampede...
it's a silence, a dealing eating silence
to suppose fish don't feel pain
with the exception of the fish
that are also mammals,
whales: who commit suicide by
beaching themselves...
that's not suicide Jonah?
When was the last time a whale
was invoked with such majesty-biblical
the former hellspawn of the depths
Yes what depths are to speak
of Mr. Psychologist if the whale
is a creature that requires a breath
it's not some lantershish
some abomination but a familiar beating
heart of mammalian unison...
hell is a silence... a deafening awe
that pairs scissors with knives...
mountains with former mountains
that are now deserts...
what used to be the great mountains
of Sahara... so much so that people
decided to revise what used to be
by spitting and ******* and *******
a birth of civilization via the concept
of life preserved eternal
in the great necropolis:
first night, just humming of the cctv
computer, that eight eyed ghoul...
i the ghost to boot...
impromptu: buy myself a radio....
patua spreschen...
in the 12h from 7pm to 7am
there is so much you can do...
with sugar and caffeine
and I started smoking again to double up
on what caffeine misses...
reading Dune with enough time
apart from seeing the movie
to appreciate the words...
backgammon and the banality of
games of fate, chance, imagine chess
being orientated around the luck, the draw,
die...
reaching out to loved ones, esp one,
magnetic girl: dried pasta muncher
as I wonder: pebble dust if she
switched to a diet of swallowing metal
knots...
I am mentally drained and finally
reaching a worker-ant crescendo
of being numbed into a dissociation
von-sein-da (from-being-there) or hier:
heir to "a" here: problem solving
Athens and the Germanic black root
of humor and full moons
Arbeit arbeit macht not so frail...
Tiredness and the contingency plan
of thinking about endurance sports...
like walking marathon lengths of distance
is easier than standing as pilgrim
in the fort of pillar for the same amount of time:
if not double that...
only today I wept at the sun
then talked
then laughed
then became mad spontaneously
and only for a short while...
besides the capacity to have
to eat for the reassurance of stamina...
there's only so much you can do
within the confines of the night on
a 12h ball breaker...
I get bouts of insatiable need to
******* to ease off the pressure
on my shoulders, Promethium Atlas
rereading of the vicinity...
but! if I treat writing this dribble-scribble
like others might relax when
solving a crossword puzzle...
8 cameras and I try to be professional
about it, namely: to be present
but also with the alias: invisible:
gently nudging reality into motion
beginning from the shadow-front...
then I wait for the hour of radio
transmission from 12am onwards
where advertisers give up churning
milk into the butter to dough of
attention spans willing to shpend
shpend shpend.... seriously?
Pedantic of me: if Liszt the Z is a surd
like in thought you can write
(th)ou(gh)t...
I ought I not note oughts and noughts...
primo: th is
what conjecture is relating
theta to eta...in Greek...
This third night and I'm in my element
I am finally orientated
to the compactness of scrutiny of space
and the hyperbolic concept of time-fluctuations:
minutes are meaningful...
hours are meaningless...
days are organic...
weeks and perhaps...
months don't exist...
years I pardon with the gravitas of
a meaning that's inorganic...
time is a special creature
while space with all the universe
so... oh so *******... un- -spec- -tac-
-ular! Ursuline girls would know...
Tis my first night of writing while
on the "job" and how gratifying
the similtude of being ambidextrous
schizoid bilingual of mind..
Schubert first... people should seriously
switch off their t.v. sets and get into
the kink of listening
to classical music radio station at night...
the **** and geese flying?
Solo goose... sorry missed that
Bad WiFi in Lebanon?
Walkie Talkies exploding because
Zee Chimney ChooChoos said so?
Mount my ******* Orion to Zion cannon
of trajectory?
This **** had been happening
since that eventful day I was flying
back from Kauai, last year, 7th October,
2000... 23...
wow... only 15 minutes past 11pm
And I have 8 hours to conjure up
a human with abrupt allowances
of deviating from the magic of:
making inanimate objects animate!

the owls of vowels
and the howls of sufficient hows,
this be the night to break me,
give me posture, salvage the most
reverent of potential:
to have character and above
all else a machine like stamina:
to only dictate a tomorrow -
a night shift among
walking tombstones of
the dead-not-yet-death...
for an ordeal to not be a Joshua
or a Dubois in the ring...
under the microscope of
a 90,000 crowd scrutiny...
body-without-organs...
   this sigma of machinery...
tongue, eyes, mouth and ***:
no sensual deviance, strict obligation
to that zenith of competence
and reliability to be governed
by wage: best earned without
much thought concerning spending (it)...
Ralph Vaughan Williams...
5 variants of 'dives Lazarus':
O how he must have scolded that
resurrection
orishas trapped between
the unconscious drive towards red
yet with a conscious bias for green.