“goodnight”
was the last thing
that you ever said to me
i went to bed, not knowing
that we’d never talk again
there was no way i could’ve known
neither of us had time
i was busy with school
you were busy with work
but the thing is
you slowly turned to dust
the next thing i knew
i was in the church
crying while talking about
how much i missed you
and how wrong it was
for you to die so young

a decade ago,
i would eagerly wait for you to come home
so that i could aggravate you,
the sound of the front door unlocking
would bring me running to the door,
hugging you and your sister.
a decade ago,
you fought with your sister about who would
sit next to me in the car.
half a decade ago,
i visited you,
you asked me, “are you seven now?”
i replied, “i can see why you got held back.”
i was nine, and too sassy for my own good.
three years ago,
you were there for me when i had no one else.
you calmed me down,
when everything was falling apart.
you sat in the basement with me,
and you told me everything would be fine.
three years ago,
i sat with you and we played video games.
you told me stories, and we talked about
politics, of all things, you talked about politics with a newly-turned twelve year old.
last year,
you accidentally took your own life.
i miss you, is all i have to say.

i saw you today,
you weren't how i remembered
you saw me, and your face didn't light up
like it used to
your eyes don't sparkle anymore
as they used to
you're not the same boy i met in august.

you were full of life,
but now you're so cold.
your personality that i knew and loved
vanished.

you fell out of my life, something like leaves in the fall.
now, you're not here at all.

you saw me today,
i was exactly how you remember.
i'm the same girl that you met in august.