It breaks my heart to be this far
away and not be able to hold you when
you’re hurting, and to not be held when i am.

It breaks my heart that i can’t reach through
My screen and squeeze your hand to reassure myself that
You’re real.

It breaks my heart to not be able to curl up with you when
I can’t sleep. It breaks my heart that we can’t spend the mornings
tangled in bed together. It breaks my heart that i don’t feel complete
And i know i won’t until i’m in your arms.

I wish I could reach through the screen and
Run my fingers through her hair.
When she tucks that side of her hair behind her ear, I swear my heart
Skips a beat.
I wonder what shampoo she uses, what her hair smells like,
God,
I want to bury my nose in that blue mess.
Let me tangle my fingers in her hair,
I can’t keep my mind off her
And her bright blue mop.

Six hours behind.
If we were in the same time zone
I wouldn’t have to spend all my day
Waiting for you to wake up
And missing you like crazy,
And I wouldn’t **** up my sleep pattern
Just so I can talk to you.

I wish you were here
Hold my hand and talk to me
Until I fall asleep

Hold me in your arms and
Tell me it’ll be okay.
I think I’ll feel safe in your arms.

It doesn’t matter if I like you
As a friend or more than that,
I just want a hug.

You say you feel the same way I do,
Falling for each other in a way we haven’t before.
Hearts beating faster when the other smiles and
wishing I was there holding your hand.

Yet,
And yet,

You’re dating other people, four thousand miles
Across the world.

I know we said we were just going to be friends,
Everything platonic, cuddles included.

(we both know we don’t mean that, judging from what you send me when you’re drunk…)

But it still hurts
That I’m not the only one.

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone.”

Whatever.

I think about you all the time.
You’re the first thing I think of
When I wake up, and the last
Before I go to sleep.
And I’ve started dreaming of you
More and more; you’re never not
In my head
And it’s suffocating.
But in a good way.