So⦠youāre having a baby? Oh heavens, oh dear!
Prepare for the chaos, the diapers, the cheer!
Thereāll be giggles and burping and onesies galore,
And toys you will trip on from bedroom to floor.
Youāll learn to survive without sleep (more or less),
Youāll Google strange rashes and babyproof stress.
Youāll master the swaddle, the bottle, the āshhh,ā
While whispering prayers during midnight **** squish.
Your fridge will be filled with things purƩed and bland,
And āme timeā now means wiping spit off your hand.
Romance might be āDid you wash the pump parts?ā
And ādate nightā is counting your babyās heart farts.
But through all the madness, the bottles and binkies,
The strollers, the coos, and the blowouts in pinkies.
One thing stays true as the months pass you by:
Your village is here. (Yes. We mean us⦠hi.)
Weāll show up with casseroles, wipes, and advice,
(Some helpful, some weird, and some⦠not so nice).
Weāll offer to babysitāyes, even at two!
(Okay, maybe three. But weāll show up. For you.)
You might roll your eyes, wish weād give you some space,
But weāll still be lurking with gifts and a face~
The face that says āPlease⦠just one cuddle, I beg.ā
We donāt need much. Just a sniff of a leg.
So Alden, dear Kevin, from now till youāre grey,
Weāre here every tantrum, each night, every day.
Youāve got this! But when you feel tired or small.
Donāt forget: Youāre not doing this solo at all.
Weāll be right beside you, and yes, slightly pushy,
With pockets of tissues and cheeks that are cushy.
Weāre family, weāre loud, and we love you like crazy~
And honestly? We just want to hold that baby.
My niece is happily pregnant.