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Lea
Switch let out a doggish yelp and

Leaped to join his master. They both

Wound up in barbwire as we

Clattered down the track.

It was me who pushed Lea on the ties

And Jake, who kicked his dog and

Both of us what spooned his beans and

Smoked up his tobacco.

And then we tore Lea’s bedroll.

But there was nothing left to steal.

Cause all that he had left was a

Picture of his Ma.

For my final act of meanness, I tossed

That picture out the door then wallowed

In my discontent, cause God was

There and judged us.

And then we laid in straw corners, mewling

Over Lea’s Crooked teeth, his shuffling

Gait and his Faithful mutt. I knew that we’d

All burn in Hell.

But he'd tasked our generosity.
J 8h
i hate all contorted words that reek of misery
or how i like to sink, and wallow in boring self-pity
please, make it stop
these thoughts of hatred
questioning why i have lived,
refusing to die, to endure my suffering
i ask myself-
why?
J 8h
staring at the walls with apathy
i cant help but ask myself,
whats wrong with me?

why do i despise the way my mouth moves,
and the horrifying sounds that follow?

why am i unable to speak, unable to think,
unable to meet your eyes?

i feel so small in your presence.
i feel so small in your eyes.
maybe i'm nothing,
maybe i'm worth nothing.

something must be wrong with my way of thinking
and my miserable way of living
or maybe-
there's something wrong with me.
J 8h
i dare not ask if god has forsaken our souls
and decided to leave us to rot for our sins
i find the punishment befitting of the crime
but im afraid of being left alone, to die alone.
J 8h
even if you are not my god
even if you are no longer my savior
because i have nothing left
i will offer myself up to the altar for yoh
and embrace you willingly

even if it hurts me dearly
even if my heart starts to bleed
because i am nothing without you
i will give up my dreams for you
and lose myself willingly

even if i must endure all forms of suffering
even if i must die over and over again
because you have become my everything
i will sacrifice my live and love for you
and pass on willingly
J 8h
the world has gifted us these hands,
to spread love, not exacerbate hate
it has blessed our eyes with vivid colours,
for us to appreciate, not to differentiate
and thus my heart weeps in sorrow
to see these simple rules not be followed
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