It's not fair
To tell me I burden you
I didn't ask for this
I'm trying my hardest really
Do you think I want this?
Did this on purpose?
I want to be the girl who talks to people without hesitation
To speak my mind
To get up and dance
To not cry when I'm alone
Not be unable to breathe when I feel the slightest bit of social awkwardness
Not be offended by everyones' joke and jab at me
Which usually leads to more crying and hating myself
I don't want to look in the mirror and hate what I see
I don't want you to think I'm off putting because I'm quiet most of the time
I don't hate or dislike you
I hate and dislike me which is why I could never talk to a person like you
I don't want to love feeling second best at everything
I don't want to be treated differently because of my physicality and mentality
I don't want you to leave
I don't want you to feel like you have to fix me
I can't be fixed
Pain is relentless and forever
I stare for long periods of time contemplating my death
But I realize I can hurt the people that hurt me
I am weak
I am sad
I wish I could stop feeling this bad