Nov 2014
everything someone finds beautiful about me
is untrue
in my eyes at least
Earl says he wants to **** the freckles off my face
but in reality its skin damage which seems to have engulfed the human race
with these girls sitting in sun ovens
coming out smelling like a burnt person
why is it in the 5th grade boys didn't like my freckles
and now the internet is obsessed with something i hated about myself
why is it that all of my pain turns into someone's romantic story
having a good memory isn't all it's cracked up to be
yes i can remember most wifi passwords i've entered
every lyric to a song that i've heard more than 5 times
quotes in movies after hearing them once
secrets people told me in the 2nd grade
throwing a flower into the casket of my late grandfather
yes yes i remember all of these pointless facts
maybe i'm good at winning arguments
but in reality i use all of this clutter
to cover up what i really want to hide
not from you
but myself
because some things we cannot forgive
no matter what we learn over time
us humans have trouble forgetting
and then this depression i feel every day
holding me in bed
i feel like i'm trapped in the warmth
because when i get up all i expect is disappointment
and sadness
do you have any idea what that even feels like?
you post all of these stupid depression quotes
but in reality i don't think you understand
because if you were REALLY depressed
you wouldn't want anyone to know you're hurting
no one could understand the hole in your chest that isn't there
the constant sickness that shows no symptoms
and the idea that you can just "get up and get over it"
there is NOTHING romantic about thinking about JERKING the wheel
there is nothing POETIC about wondering how much pain you would feel
if you cut up the stream, not across the river
there is nothing beautiful about mental illness
and no one will understand that
unless they find the day
where they're laying in bed
and they would rather dream of flying
and casting spells on our enemies
maybe saving a whole litter of puppies
in their dreams
where in reality its 3:30 pm and you've been asleep for 14 hours
but that doesn't matter does it?
because in this fake dream i feel better than my real life
is untrue
in my eyes at least
Earl says he wants to **** the freckles off my face
but in reality its skin damage which seems to have engulfed the human race
with these girls sitting in sun ovens
coming out smelling like a burnt person
why is it in the 5th grade boys didn't like my freckles
and now the internet is obsessed with something i hated about myself
why is it that all of my pain turns into someone's romantic story
having a good memory isn't all it's cracked up to be
yes i can remember most wifi passwords i've entered
every lyric to a song that i've heard more than 5 times
quotes in movies after hearing them once
secrets people told me in the 2nd grade
throwing a flower into the casket of my late grandfather
yes yes i remember all of these pointless facts
maybe i'm good at winning arguments
but in reality i use all of this clutter
to cover up what i really want to hide
not from you
but myself
because some things we cannot forgive
no matter what we learn over time
us humans have trouble forgetting
and then this depression i feel every day
holding me in bed
i feel like i'm trapped in the warmth
because when i get up all i expect is disappointment
and sadness
do you have any idea what that even feels like?
you post all of these stupid depression quotes
but in reality i don't think you understand
because if you were REALLY depressed
you wouldn't want anyone to know you're hurting
no one could understand the hole in your chest that isn't there
the constant sickness that shows no symptoms
and the idea that you can just "get up and get over it"
there is NOTHING romantic about thinking about JERKING the wheel
there is nothing POETIC about wondering how much pain you would feel
if you cut up the stream, not across the river
there is nothing beautiful about mental illness
and no one will understand that
unless they find the day
where they're laying in bed
and they would rather dream of flying
and casting spells on our enemies
maybe saving a whole litter of puppies
in their dreams
where in reality its 3:30 pm and you've been asleep for 14 hours
but that doesn't matter does it?
because in this fake dream i feel better than my real life
Not very poetic from my stand point. More so just a rant about mental illness and I feel that people should really watch what they say about things they don't understand.
