red you’re flowing red
your words came out like an overdose
dark gray bags and rags for clothes
black and gray and tones morose
red you’re flowing red
a ravenous cavern has eaten all our time
it felt so unkind
I lost my mind
horrible expectations—
lower them
everything drains away to the riverbed
lower then
everything remains hidden until said
lower then
everything flows out to the oceanic carpet
stomach somersault sea green
red you’re flowing red
gushing down to the gulley
you-you sound in a hurry
and complexion unsullied
wait, please wait for me
love isn’t a spectacle
feelings cannot be seen
looking over the shoulder, eyes narrowed,
hips locked in place
you call to me with a look of amusement and I can’t help but cringe
my spirit jumps out of my skin
I hope you like my body
I hope you remember my mind
I hope you know that I flattened on the floor
when you flicked me off your shoulder
and looked menacingly at the door
here I am
a cosmic ant
scurrying about with my feelers hanging low
shake it all off
pretend you aren’t a demon disguised as a simple ****
pretend you aren’t a newspaper clipping in the wind
a single-day story
filler on the news
speech in a bottle
drifting on the sea
a lonely dance hall made for people
to shake off empty flesh
in flakes of gold and steel and lead
what a waste
as it falls onto the floor,
flowing into the drain directly in the center
inch long nails digging in
just like we see on TV
I have to agree
it’s disgusting
but we all have to do it sometimes
****** in the car, whorechild
three years later and I’m ****** on the floor
I’m ****** on the sofa
I’m ****** on the futon
I’m ****** in a stranger’s bed every night
****** by nameless, faceless specters
of masculinity mixed with contempt
users and abusers who love to dissect
but only when *****
well **** me I’m so tired of being ****** by everyone else
I’m ****** on the street
I’m ****** on the stairs
I’m ****** in the bathroom
I’m ****** in the air
I hang there
a modest bauble on the Christmas tree
no fancy lights lingering on my surface
only the darkness and me
build a house in the middle of the desert and fill it with water
open the door and it all gushes out
draining in tiny valleys and pathways carved from the silent sand
used-up little fool
empty vessel for a ghost
empty vases filled with dead tulips
and a sink filled with ***** water
sunlight has long since left
it’s so simple to see—
only the darkness and me.
this is socialization,
running to work
running to the store
running straight home
running out of places to run
distrust before you disguise the beggar
lying in a pavement grave meant
to be a home
slimy fingers sticking up there—
disassociate—
break—
imagine a world without any *******
imagine a world that is free;
I am only filled more with hate
each time you penetrate
I lose a little more gold
a little more water
a little more spirit
a little more soul
each time you **** me
all I can see is red,
flowing red
draining in the stagnant pools of the narrow bed