single and never going to mingle again unless they're someone absolutely special or He comes back.

people are slowly finding out that i'm no longer in a relationship and girls will hit on me in the hallway and kiss my cheek and asking for a nice sloppy kiss on the mouth.
i wish i was strong enough to kiss those pretty girls right on the mouth and completely forget about Him.

but i wont, because i cant, i feel like i'm cheating on Him in some way even though he's already gone and completely forgotten i exist.
(completely erased me even though He loved me for 15 months.)

i want to talk to Him, thinking of Him keeps me up at night crying, seeing Him makes me cry and feel nauseous, watching Him be fine makes me angry, i'm terrified of Him after he left me with a broken heart.

(there's so much power a person has when they have your heart in their hand and can crush it at any moment, it's scary.)

it makes me happy when people say,

"I can't belive he broke up with you. He has no idea what he just lost, you're so amazing and beautiful. Forget him."

but i can't believe it or want to because i love Him. i love Him so much that it's hard to breathe.