you tell me to jump
and call me stupid for hitting the ground
you tell me to swim
then push my head under the water
because the bubbles hide the screams
you tell me to speak
while you choke me breathless
you call me crazy because words don't come out
and i'm ugly as my skin turns purple
you tell me i'm pathetic
for "forgetting" how to breathe
and you can call me crazy for pretending it's okay
that the blood running from my nose
is simply stage makeup
and you're merely acting
but there are no curtains
and there's no one watching
cut my throat, slam the door
cry a little, come back for more
i'm not dead yet, but i am weak
and i'm just watching my skin
slip off my fragile, achy bones
*i was never crazy