12:50 AM Wide awake from the adderall I swallowed to chase my need for achievement
1:03 After Achieving approximately zero of my work I find myself fully indulging In the little teenaged demon on my shoulder.
As she encourages The Rapid Fire of Clicks
That lead to your Facebook Page
1:04 I'm paging through photos of your lovers past
I Stop and Stare
at Her
And So begins The Laundry List of comparisons
She has a better jawline than mine. Her eyes are browner than mine? Her gaze is Piercing She's so edgy She's so original
She's basically Perfect
1:35 At this point I've
Paced
Approximately 205 Circles Around My Room
Listed
About 80 Reasons Why she's Better than me
Crawled
Into a Fetal Position Of Panic
Concluded
That I could Never Make You as Happy as She Did
Wondered
How I could have been so Foolish
Concocted
37 Schemes for Finding A Way Out
Imagined
You calling her "Baby"
Over and Over and Over and Over
Cried
Searching for the emotions I'd gambled Like Poker Chips
Throwing them all in, as a Sentiment to my Commitment
1:40 I'm Asking Myself 1:41 How would I ever give him what he needed? 1:42 How could I be the Girl he'd end up with? 1:43 Why would I believe that I was right for him?
Each minute delivering haymaker Questions, Each more crushing than the last.
And as my mind prepared for its Nightly Death
I Pause.
1:45 Checking the date that these photos found Origin 1:46 Approximately 3 Years
Since it was all over.
3 Years since the last I Love You
Post
More than 2 Years since The last photo that his eyes Sang Genuine Love Songs.
3 Years that
Their hearts had not been beating each others names.
1:47 My Brain drags back The Questions of Before Torturing Me.
1:48 But Suddenly There's a **** inside me My heart is playing defense
1:49 How Could I give him what he wanted?
Because my heart beats for the seconds in which your smile resides.
Because I'll accept nothing less than what you deserve, sun and stars alike.
1:52 How could I be the girl he'd end up with?
Because 3 Years is enough time to refine your tastes.
Because I'm in love with you today, and today you kissed me With your eyes closed.
Because that smile doesn't belong to her anymore.
1:55 Why would I believe that I was right for him?
Because you deserve someone to love you like only I can.
Because I am a fighter. I fight for what's right. And every part of me is fighting for us.
Because I will not be driven away by shadows that leave as Darkness Descends.
I am there in the nights when goosebumps chill.
I am there when I can only be felt.
I am there to create a smile that can only be heard.
Who are you to believe so strongly in a pipe dream?
2:00 I am the hopeless romantic. 2:05 I am the one whose got nothing left to lose. 2:10 I am the one who wears that title as a Badge of Honor. 2:15 I am the one who will fight the world in protection of that tribute. 2:20 With every swipe of my pen in a love letter 2:30 With every kiss fueled like a right hook 2:40 With every second shoving toward making You Happy 2:50 Who are you to claim him "yours"?
I'm the one who refuses to get lazy with time. I'm the one who will never say things out of spite. I'm the one who has committed to their joy.