written November 19, 2013

"Why do I feel as if I'm going to burst into flames - a growing spark that even the slightest bit of wind can't put out
The stress boils through my blood
The assumptions I branded into my brain have taken over me and my heart is racing
And so far I'm in first place
Because I can't focus on anything else but the presence of you and your little mind games - are you trying to make me fall in love with you? Or fall into your bed where you can make love to me?
These two questions jump across my corpus callosum
Playing hop scotch back and forth and back and forth
You see I can picture it my mind but logically, it makes no sense
That you would ever have feelings for me
So I'm torn between the ideas of love and lust and that **** you pulled Saturday?
It's got me contemplating my feelings constantly
My mind is supposed to stay present yet it wanders to the past to where my heart wants to be, back in your arms snuggling on the couch watching a movie
It's no doubt I want you
Yet, I lie to myself and say 'at least he's being a gentleman about it'
But no matter how many paid dinners for you to see the artisan in act, it will never pay for the amount of love I have for you
So here I am, type type typing the words into the lonely phone awaiting a simplistic three letter message saying 'hey'
Three
simple
letters
would make my heart grow
three
times
fonder"