******
A word I have heard a thousand times
A thousand different ways
But has always sounded the same,
Like ignorance

A word that has never left me feeling worthless
Or unloved
Just misunderstood

Even when followed by being thrown into the bathroom stall of a Girl's gym  locker room
Or by the few friends I had left helping me clean up my battered face and the hide the bruises

I have always been proud of the term ****** because even though it was said to be offensive
I was being acknowledged as me

But when the word was spilled by the woman who once rocked me to sleep till I was no longer scared
The woman who has always protected me
It was then that all the pain I ever should have felt
Took a hold of my heart and ran it up to my throat until the pain leaked from my eyes
I was angry
I was sad
And I was scared
Because I knew that word was always followed by violence
And I didn't think that I would be able to walk with my head held high from this one
My face turned red and my blood turned cold and I watched my father defend me
Finally I stopped him and I looked at her
And I said yes, but I'm your ******