I think his name in my sleep
It is on repeat as I drift between consciousness and somewhere else
But I can never let him know that his name is a mantra
I repeat to help me get through the days
But I have been realizing that the more I say it
The less meaning it has
His name stops having an affect
I've gotten to the place where I hate hearing it
But I love it
I say it to remind me of the pain
And remind me of my love
My love unreturned
How could someone get me to care so ******* much
And then turn around and pretend nothing changed
But so much has, my love. So much has