I use to believe in God, that was until December 23. I now question my faith because of you. You left me on route one in Norwalk Connecticut scared and alone I didn't even know you left. The alcohol consumption that night was a little too high for someone to be walking home at midnight. Merry Christmas to everyone who had to realize that they're shining star died out . My shining stars light died yet for five months I thought it was still burning. You destroyed me, the words I forgive you will never roll off my tongue  being honest towards you. If I could take a trip to heaven I promise you would be sitting there with the dining table a fork and a big smile on your face. Number 41 I hate you. I hate you for leaving me on route one I hate you for making me believe I would see you soon. Yet I still love you, you're the only big brother I've ever actually had. Do you only person who ever told me I believe in you having me believe you. I love you I miss you I hope to see you soon, just not too soon okay? I will always miss you, until the day I die your smile be in the back of my head. I watch football because of you. Number 41 on the matter what team always be my favorite player. Have ever told you that I love you?