If only I could write without choking up every time I spilled out words on paper,
If only I could close my eyes and block out the harsh things that I still seem to remember,
If only I could smile and write pages after pages about everything without tearing up,
If only I was not as shy as I am right now and instead was bold and fierce,
If only my hands would stop shaking when I write your name,
If only everybody kept the freaking promises that they made.
If only.
If only.
If only.
I would surely be happier and more satisfied than I am right now.