sitting behind you on the bed
naked and trying not to cry
tracing the muscles on your back
in hopes that you'll turn around
and look at me like I did when I was 20
but instead you get up and leave the room
your ratted boxers sitting tightly on your bulging skin
the tears flow freely then as i stare at my loose skin
and my calloused wrinkled hands
i'm not as beautiful as i once was
i'm not as patient or as kind
and i can't remember where i went wrong
where we went wrong
you can't stand looking at me
or being in the same room as me
my naked body doesn't send waves of excitement
it doesn't even make *** worth it
our kids don't know whether to
hope we'll make it work
or
wish we would leave each other and start fresh
you're the only one i ever let myself love
and if you left i'm not sure where i would go
but neither of us are happy
you're phone is full of other women
while mine
well
it's full of pictures of our kids being happy
and work needing me to hurry over
i was, and still am, always busy
and i never gave you the attention you wanted
i hated you for not loving me on my schedule
while i never thought of yours
and tonight was the night where i would try
to win you back
but it's too late
and you're out the door
watching sports on the computer
and i'm still naked in bed
crying while looking at the spot you once were
but i'm a grown woman now
so i pick myself up
and head over to the shower
hopefully
i will get some sleep for tomorrow
and tomorrow maybe
something will change

but nothing does