So there I was taking a stroll through the woods Where I go to watch the woodland creatures at play When the sun gleams off of something shinny ahead That happens to catch my eye on that day
I tried picking it up but it wouldn't budge So I went to fetch the shovel from my trunk I found an old crusty ham sandwich where the spare used to be So before I dug in the dirt I quickly dug into lunch
When I did start digging it took most of the night Finally accomplished the task set before me What it was astonished both, yes both of my eyes The Legendary Bubba Time Jumping Machine
Bubba was an old moonshiner who had quite a knack For inventing the oddest of things Legend has it he took an old still and just for the thrill Invented the object that now sits before me
I'd heard about this as a youngster in school But thought it was all just a lie Now I have a dilemma set before me Do I go forward, sideways, or backward in time
Well I figured it didn't really matter that much So I set my **** on the bucket inside Bungee corded the door shut Duct taped the remaining cracks up Then spun the rusty bicycle wheel he used as a time dial
The Time Jumping machine started shaking I hung on for one crazy ride I blew goodbye kisses to my friends, the squirrels and the robins Leaving my normal life in a wake far behind
Thought it would be fun to see where ya'll could take me in Bubba's Time Jumper! I'll have the Miss Universe Judges I hire for special occasions to look over the entries and come up with a winner on the 4th of July! Good luck to one and all! Oh! Almost forgot! What do you win? How about a lifetime subscription to my poems on Hello Poetry! Hey who threw that!?! And what's all that Booing!?! What do you people expect?! I spent all my money on the Judges! Oh and please nothing *****...I run a family business here.