Jun 2014
I am my //thoughts at 3 am // broken and shattered // within the silence // my mouth is shut // there is nothing to indulge // not even the air particles // It hurts so much // to feel // to sense // to even be human // to be me // actually.
I just want to // go home // but // I don't know // if it even ever // existed // I just want to get away from people // I hate // the temporariness // it 's wrapped around my neck // like a string // more like a rope // for // every tear that falls // from my eyes // my neck // my chest //my heart // my feelings // burned relentlessly.
I want // to drive // I want // to breathe // I want to go // on a road trip // to the furthest destination // to a beach // with the darkest sky // the lightest shade // turquoise sea // the brightest stars // to fulfill the night // I want to lay // on the beach // pretend // the sand in my life // didn't bury me // I didn't suffocate // I wanted to lay // there for so long // that I would // forget I exist // similar to // the way // I ignore my feelings // for so long// just so that I forget // how to feel.
Sometimes // I wonder why // wouldn't the stars // just fall in my arms // the future // the unknown //
I'm afraid // of drowning // once those feelings // become // too heavy.
everything is labeled // life is // like a side effect // slowly // killing me// I want to // seize many moments // replay them // I want to forget // and forget // just forget // I am human // that // I once existed // leave no trace behind // disappear into the atmosphere //
I want // impossibilities // to turn // into realities // those thoughts // the scene of them // it could make // everyone // flee // I love to make them wonder // how long those lived // wandering // in my head // how I became // a prisoner in my own mind // with my own will // I cant // flee // from the human // I am destined to be // I can // never have enough // wanting so much.
I just want to // go home // but // I don't know // if it even ever // existed // I just want to get away from people // I hate // the temporariness // it 's wrapped around my neck // like a string // more like a rope // for // every tear that falls // from my eyes // my neck // my chest //my heart // my feelings // burned relentlessly.
I want // to drive // I want // to breathe // I want to go // on a road trip // to the furthest destination // to a beach // with the darkest sky // the lightest shade // turquoise sea // the brightest stars // to fulfill the night // I want to lay // on the beach // pretend // the sand in my life // didn't bury me // I didn't suffocate // I wanted to lay // there for so long // that I would // forget I exist // similar to // the way // I ignore my feelings // for so long// just so that I forget // how to feel.
Sometimes // I wonder why // wouldn't the stars // just fall in my arms // the future // the unknown //
I'm afraid // of drowning // once those feelings // become // too heavy.
everything is labeled // life is // like a side effect // slowly // killing me// I want to // seize many moments // replay them // I want to forget // and forget // just forget // I am human // that // I once existed // leave no trace behind // disappear into the atmosphere //
I want // impossibilities // to turn // into realities // those thoughts // the scene of them // it could make // everyone // flee // I love to make them wonder // how long those lived // wandering // in my head // how I became // a prisoner in my own mind // with my own will // I cant // flee // from the human // I am destined to be // I can // never have enough // wanting so much.
