You will not ruin me twice.
This time, you will make my soul the most beautiful it has ever been.
It is my choice.
Last time, the way to show you that you are my truest love was to suffer without you and burn in my own hurt.
This time, I will show it with forgiveness, devotion, and strength.
I am finding peace,
I am growing like a forest nourished by the ashes of a city, and I
Will be exquisite.
You have not made me into this.
I alone have made me.
But, that said, I have done it in your name.
And if ever you see me happy and alive, know that it is because I love you:
You cannot take from me.
That is your justice.
That is your punishment and your gift-
That I will use everything you do to me as sustenance,
As light,
As comfort,
Even if it is ugly.
And may that make the part of you that loves me joyous,
And may that make the part of you that hates me livid-
Both of them deserve it utterly.
You woke me up,
And now I decide when the sun sets.