I kept it a secret
When your voice pierced the walls.
When I was four and frightened,
at the booming from the hall.

Never known what a monster was.
In truth, I thought they’d never exist.
Until the monster raged at my mother.
Held her down by her wrists.

Screaming and fighting.
Fighting and begging.
With swollen cheeks and blurred vision she made me promise to stay.
To lock the doors.
And never open them.
No matter what things she’d say.

Locked ourselves in our room.
In diapers and with shrieks.
Keeping my two little brothers from the door.
The thunks were getting louder.
Some heavy objects hitting the floor.

Fear has never existed,
till that night in the hall.
Till I saw with my own eyes,
what a bad man did to my mom.

The door refused him in.
My face warm with tears.
The next time I’d remember this, was when I made eighteen years.
Our voices were hoarse from screaming.
Screaming.
For our mother.

Thuds and broken glass.
Giving me no choice.
I kept the door locked from his rage and booming voice.
Objects breaking in the hall.
My two year old brother tried to open the lock,
I pulled him back so he’d fall.
Frustrated and scared he screamed in my arms.
I wouldn’t let anything give them ****** harm.

The door cracked as the monster punched it repeatedly.
As he hit her repeatedly.
As he kicked it repeatedly.
As he hurt her...

repeatedly.

Trying to get to us.

Mommy said I had to take care of them.
Not to let the monster in.
No matter what happened.
No matter how badly we shook.
No matter how painful her screams.

The door spit out splinters.
And was damaged in three places.
Imagine the damage it’s do...
if it struck our young faces.

The legos and toys I set against the door trembled.
With each punch.
With each kick.
With each bit of rage.
Never knew what’d happen to my mom or my brothers.
This thought was making me sick.

She screamed in agony in the hall.
In pain, she threw words at an angry man.
Blows so hard hit....
Hit her again.
And again.
We could feel it in the walls.

Courage building like Lincoln Logs, with my hands to my chest.

I unlocked the door...
And saw my beaten mother on the floor.

Seeing me in his peripheral vision, he saw me.
Made his way towards where I stood...

Four and Frightened I shrieked for my mommy.
As I heard her yell “DON’T YOU TOUCH HER YOU BSTRD!!!!”


Then everything went black.