When I'm able to believe again,
I'll walk determined down this path again
And you'll look at a smile again
And you'll see that I'm free.

Gonna hear the voice of reason,
Gonna hear the words of God
Won't be loud, won't be loud,
'Til I open my heart to Him.

When I'm able to believe again
Gonna feel this shame diminish,
Gonna pray for God's grace to fall on me,
One sweet day, one sweet day
I will deserve it,
When I'm able to believe again.

So DT posed that somewhat obvious question for me to work on this week. What do I want to/need to believe? This afternoon it was as if God delivered the answer to me as I was driving, because out of nowhere I stopped singing to the radio and it was just there.

I need to believe that someone can love me, as damaged as I am. Somewhere in the back of my mind I've decided that I am not worthy of anyone's love because of how I feel inside. I know my family loves me, but they "have" to.

*But deep down I know that I won't let anyone love me until I can figure out how to love myself.

Somehow that seems like the much harder thing to do.