Last night, I thought that what I was feeling was intense relaxation
I spoke slowly, thoughts were languishing like a cat in the sun
My muscles just wanted to relax
My breathing was slow
Yet I didn't want to sleep

I wasn't sad or happy, really
I wasn't jealous or upset
Not sure what happened

It lasted hours
Until I went to sleep really

But I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes
And I'm just as slow and relaxed
Yet I've been crying off and on all morning
and I don't know why

I don't think it was relaxation
I think it might have been despair