We walk around blocks

We walk around corners

We walk around and around
and I don't think we'll ever stop

Because if I were to pause for just one second

I might fall apart

and you'd see the pieces sliding off my face
fingertips falling away to bone
my muscles frantically screaming, trying to move
but the deed would be done and I'd just be your mess on this stranger's sidewalk.
the face you watched grow in your likeness now unrecognizable
the mess left behind after New Year's Eve
the minute after midnight when everyone is still too busy cheering to notice
but you'll see it
because you raised me and now I'm falling
and you can't save me
you can't save me anymore.
And you won't even want to try.

I am your baby girl, not a disgrace
not a failure that you can't even claim as your own
Mommy, can I come home?
Curl up in your chest next to the family I've gotten to know so well,
made a home in your rib cage that I can't ever quite leave.
are you even aching now that I'm gone or was my space that easy to fill?
because I'm sitting here broken and empty and her arms are around me
and it's a sad excuse for a hug but it's all I have
because you left me out
you cut me off
and it's cold out here.
Mommy, can I come home?