i do not know why i am
Such
a
broken
*****.

I cannot think of anything but my tomorrow and even
my yesterday, and how I ****** so much so I will again

I cannot hear you ask me if I'm okay, my heart beats in my ears, I am shaking so hard that I drop my juice and then
I
cry

if even for a moment I am sure of something, I'm sure an angel has touched me

I've got this much to do, and I say this as I
Stretch out my arms and you copy me except
You say you love me that big

but I do not believe you so I shut you out
because that is what I do
I am that little girl who can't stop writing dreams on my skin
or writing nightmares on my bones

I wrote '*****, ******, ******, *******, fatty, freak!' on my bones (and my bones are breaking) even though a few had never been spoken to me, but I
I could see them on lips that housed cigarettes
and maybe ***,
and possibly alcohol.
Lips that kissed pieces of bodies that should stay hidden
until we're older.

and all of these things, everything hurts and I'm doing everything
wrong

And I'm crying and I'm asleep because I'm anxious
I'm afraid

r.c.