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Mar 2015 · 903
when he took my innocence
Quiet Mar 2015
i remember comfort all through my body but then this
pain... it was this horrible pain in my stomach
but i could push it away enough to give him my soul.
it was what he wanted, right?
telling myself i had some part of him was delusional, he only gave me
a character he created. but i took it, no questions asked.
he claimed to buy me, but he only rented me.
looking back, i realize the pain was a warning.
because he was a predator and i, his prey,
but he took my innocence
and still wanted to pray.
i didn't ever ever ever think he was taking my being,
but then i was no longer whole.
and now i know.
Quiet Mar 2015
anger. i write with tears in my eyes because i am angry to be proven right. when i am forbade from sharing my poetry, proving me right of the times when i said NOBODY CARES, i am so angry that there are tears in my eyes. i'm going to make you read this and you are going to look at me and say nothing. you never say anything except 'ok' and you can't see it but that's so FRUSTRATING. do i only deserve two letters from you? all the times you've said in few words that i was wrong when i said you don't care about me, that nobody does, you were lying. i should have known better. the explanation for my tears? you, and her.
Feb 2015 · 399
if ever there is a time
Quiet Feb 2015
if ever there is a time when i don't love you, the world must be ending, and the stars must be exploding in on themselves to fall onto the long lost lovers who turned on one another to slit each others throats. and even then, i will still love you. when you try to **** me, i will still love you. when i am gone, i will still love you. when you have become a memory, and i have become even less than that, i will still love you. if ever there is a time when i don't love you, i will love you.
Jan 2015 · 586
i don't love you
Quiet Jan 2015
i have merely created  a home for you in my bones and, even in my ribcage  you play peek a boo and kiss my lungs.  i don't love you, i just want to absorb you into my veins, and our veins will  tie together until i'm secured safely  in my body.  i don't love you, i have just built myself around you and in you and resembling you. i don't love you, my existence just counts on you. i don't love you but i do. just a little. or enough to live.
Jan 2015 · 629
set me free
Quiet Jan 2015
Set me free,
oh, gravity,
I cannot stay here,
I am an anchor,
and he is a sailboat.
Jan 2015 · 418
you should see her
Quiet Jan 2015
and at times, i wonder if you've ever really seen her, beautiful her. in those moments when her heart is beating fast because she's being smart, and when her eyes are watery because she's drowning in memories. she's so beautiful, can't you see it? when her cheeks are rosy red and her hair is mussy. shy, humble. have you ever really looked at her? her heart spills out and she is surrounded by an air of love. she's breathtaking, especially when her breath has been taken, haven't you noticed? haven't you noticed how bright her eyes are when she loves you? she wants to be yours and it's a beautiful sight, you should see her. **you should see her, you would fall in love the same way she crashed into being in love with you
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
Dear Straight People,
Quiet Jan 2015
You say you accept us?

Why the hell do you use 'that's gay' as an insult if you're so accepting?

And when are you going to learn that there's more than just gay and straight. Just like there's more than black and white, and there's more than ignorance, though I rarely see it!

And if you think the word '******' is ok, then walk away because we're gonna have a problem.

You have it so easy.

Do we walk around asking you why you chose to be straight?

Should we?



You don't.

And I may be wrong, but has anyone ever slit their throat because someone was like 'oh, you're straight'?

Probably not, right?

So get out of my face unless you're going to accept us, because there shouldn't even be a question about this! We just like different people.

Stop making us afraid, stop using our sexuality as a weapon, stop questioning us, just stop.
Inspired by Denice Trohman's slam poem.

And also by Leelah Alcorn's suicide. Rest in power.
Jan 2015 · 477
Quiet Jan 2015
i loved to
d      r     a      g

on my cigarette,
the way you
d      r       a      g     g      e      d
out your syllables.

and i loved to

i    n  h a    l  e

your promises
like you

i    n h a   l e d
my perfume,
so close to me that
our ribcages melded.

i want you to love me,
but i know that this might
just be me
e xhal ing him.

and you might be  
a f r a i d
to i      n      h      a      l       e
her any longer.

but i will keep holding on
even if my fingers burn
on the embers.
and even if my lungs collapse
from loving you too much.
and does it feel good to  breathe me in?
it's a metaphor
Dec 2014 · 250
The Clarity of a Hero
Quiet Dec 2014
Rain or shine,
and whether or not I had argued with my family,
the screen flickered to life
and my heart skipped a beat.
Something was different in the
There were nights where I would
talk to cast members,
tears streaming down my face
because I hated myself,
and I would go to sleep grinning like crazy.
It's one thing to be in love with a person,
but the butterflies in my belly came from
a whole world.
A kingdom, called Everealm.
Where the only monster was Verlox,
not me,
and there were ballads,
not the quiet cry of a lonely girl.
Knights in shining armour,
a handful of princess warriors who
held on tight.

Everealm felt like a dream, thousands of miles
and a few worlds away.
But it was always there for me,
even that night when my mom
thought I couldn't keep myself safe,
and I had to go to a crisis center.
But I came home to army of heroes
who took me in as their own,
and taught me that I was
one of them.

A hero,
not because I wielded a Sunspear,
but because I kept going.
I had enough reasons not to go on,
it'd be easy to give up.
But there was The Quest,
and that gave me my own quest-
to dance my way through this storm,
and then pull others out of theirs.

After all,
there's a hero in all of us.

You just need to find it.
Dec 2014 · 318
to try
Quiet Dec 2014
to try

is to waste the last of my energy.
as i lay broken and exposed on a cold floor,
i cry until the heat on my skin is enough to
shatter the building.

to try

is to tear out the hearts of
pure people.
as i burn too bright to handle,
i darken the souls of angels.

to try

is to make the stolen kisses
last too long.
a kiss on the lips of that gorgeous girl,
knowing she's a *****.
a kiss on the lips of that perfect boy,
knowing he's to be married soon enough.
a kiss on the lips of death,
knowing that there's no reason to continue.

to try

is to make the drowning go faster.

to try

is to die.
Dec 2014 · 272
holding out
Quiet Dec 2014
The only place that feels like home is when you're studying my face for any sign that I love you. I wonder if I hide it too well when you turn your back.
Quiet Dec 2014
the only explanation
for light pouring from you
is that whole scientific theory
that we're all made of stardust.

i don't know if i believe it
but i know that i want to inhale you
and blend our souls together.
i know that i love you so much and
i can't.

and everything is so bright,
my fingers trail across your hand
and come up dripping with stardust
so i know that you can burn me
but that you don't.

that is true love,
and the other half of true love is falling
in love with stardust
at 1 am as i lay on my side
crying into my pillow
and drinking black holes.
Dec 2014 · 502
once upon a lonely night
Quiet Dec 2014
i don't want to talk about it to
the people who want to know.
i want to talk about it to
the people who don't have to know,
but don't mind anyway.

i want to tell you, actually.

about when i was too lonely
to know what i was doing.
when my no was not firm enough,
was not said often enough.
so they played me,
and i don't blame them.
i was so vulnerable.
so easy to take advantage of.
why not?
i was disposable, useable only for a moment of pleasure.
and it really hurt,
but i just sat there.
and took it.

and now look at me-
fighting flashbacks when a classmate makes a joke about the four letter R word.
crying for no reason.
Dec 2014 · 1.9k
gorgeous poison
Quiet Dec 2014
and i believe you may **** me
with soft blue eyes.
you'll press your love into my
heart with a sword,
and kiss the blood off.
and i have a feeling i won't last long
if you keep telling me how much you care.
i know i will pass away if you keep
crying over my pain.
i don't know how to love you,
and i will get lost in the storm.
but i am ready to lose my life
to your love.
a poison has never been so gorgeous.
so merciful.
the title angel of death
doesn't fit,
you are more.
and yet, you are nothing
as i take my

l a s t

b r e a t h.
Dec 2014 · 375
for once
Quiet Dec 2014
i am alive and i remember what you said

'it can be ok if you want it to be'.

so, with music loud and

smile wide,

i am alive , for once.

things are not perfect, and the pain still lingers,
but a tiny bit of hope is transforming my day.

it may just be today,
but for once,

i am alive,

i am happy,

i am alive.
Dec 2014 · 208
i want
Quiet Dec 2014
everything i can't have.
and i need everything i don't want.
Dec 2014 · 506
cloudy day smiles
Quiet Dec 2014
i have always wanted to
make you proud.
but the harder i try,
the less you care, it seems.
i didn't cry that day,
but i really wanted to.
you taught me about myself
in a few minutes,
and you watched me closely
as i learned the ropes.

and today it's so cloudy and i am
freezing cold
and i just want you to be proud
because i am still smiling.

i am at home,
covering up and
staring out the window,
and i can't wait to smile at you.
because maybe,

*this time you'll smile back
I'm two weeks clean.
Quiet Jun 2014
i used to think
that i was a tiny dancer
in a music box,
spinning and sparkling
in front of a little mirror,
and girls would make me dance
when they were at their worst,
i would dance and smile,
and their tears would dry,
and they would see their beauty
behind me,
but i was just looking in the wrong mirror.
i used to think i was
the dawn,
stretching out over the horizon,
but dusk came.
i used to call myself
superwoman (or supergirl, because i hadn't
grown up)
and i thought i was invincible,
but i broke my arm when i
ran towards the villain.
i used to say i was a pop-star,
with thousands of adoring fans,
until i realized only my mum
liked my singing.
and then i saw
a monster in the mirror,
and it consumed me for
what felt like forever,
until, finally,
i realized that i was a
tiny dancer,
and if i danced,
i could dry my own tears.
i was the dawn,
but i was also the dusk,
bringing stars to the
broken hearted
(bringing stars to myself)
and i wasn't superwoman,
or even supergirl,
but i could befriend her
and learn her ways.
and when i sang to
the people who mattered,
the people who i loved,
they were soothed,
they liked to hear me sing,
and all was well.
i can still see that monster,
but behind her is the girl
who i know i can be.
Jun 2014 · 865
these bones liquefied
Quiet Jun 2014
there's a drain
in this ******
middle school bathroom.
shoulder to shoulder
and toilet paper stuck
here, there,
and above me.
one light has burnt out,
and it smells like
feminine products,
cherry lip gloss,
and electric nerves.
but there is a drain,
and it is my favorite part.
because if my eyes squeeze shut
then i am bones,
slipping into the spaces,
joining the world underneath.
and i reform,
i solidify as a crying little girl,
who still has to do math tests.

Quiet Jun 2014
and i was like
maybe i can get this poem out,
get the life in me out.
but i am falling asleep,
skin on fire.
Quiet Jun 2014
you can
read my poetry
in the breaths i take to cry
you can
read my poetry,
as neurotically
as my nightmares on a hot summer night.
it is poetry,
not the national anthem.

Quiet Jun 2014
H o r r o r stories
Are your eyes (clear, drained of color as you
Roaming the words on my
Bone marrow.
Because they say
'You should have been here'
'**** you for leaving without goodbye'
And you're on the floor,
Laying in my weakness.
I bleed, you watch, I clean up,
You go.
Later, you are laughing.
The pain is gone from your eyes,
From your palms.
You have become the anger in my throat as I scream
'***** you!'
And you catch me by
My wrist
Before I slap
That pretty little face.
You are crying too,
But you pull me in as I thrash,
And tell me you're never leaving again.
But I wake up, wander to the room we
Were going to meet in.
Are you there?
Of. Course. Not.
One more story in my bone marrow book.

Quiet Jun 2014
Its 1 o clock in the morning,
There's too many hours in the clicking
Of that old ceiling fan.
And if it fell out of its hole,
And hit me,
Would you send flowers?
I think of bumping into you,
Somewhere big.
So nobody notices the sobs,
From both of us.
You cry because my skin is
And I cry because your eyes are
I wonder (1:05, why can't I sleep?)
If your smile (it never stopped)
Would falter,
With my stories of pain.
(You never stopped smiling, but
Missing you is stopping time)
Click, click.
Maybe I'll write you a letter.
Maybe I'll send it.
(Its 3:30)
One more word on the paper.
Sorry, and it's slanted, floating off its line
Misplaced, like I,
Before sleep.

May 2014 · 444
Quiet May 2014
i became the moon,
my eyes pulled the stars away from the night
(the night was lonely anyway, it had nothing to lose)
and i found a tiara next to the curb.
on my way out to get it, a Cadillac almost hit me,
but i saved myself and my royal status.
my gown was short, tattered,
but perfectly outlined the curves of my body.
my hair was untamed,
but tiny little curls framed my jaw and cheekbones
just so.
for one night, for one moment in time,
i was the princess that little me had always wanted to be.
May 2014 · 774
Quiet May 2014
'keep your head up princess,
your crown is falling...'
'sorry,' i say,
and push that diamond tiara back.
'sorry,' says the king, and
our voices are so different.
'shh, it's okay...'
'it'll never be okay!' i say,
and he pulls me against his fabric to
keep me safe.
'let your guard down.'
'i'm so afraid, your highness,'
'don't be. you are royalty too.'
May 2014 · 376
Quiet May 2014
it was some sort of
that rushed to my fingertips
and when i touched her,
i could feel myself heat up.
like everything inside of me,
was rushing to the threshold of my mouth.
and i had to keep it in. i had to clench down
until i could taste crimson metal.
and i kept my hands on her,
until my skin became the pond in the winter,
and the fever moved on.
May 2014 · 264
i'm so sorry
Quiet May 2014
i'm so sorry for saying
'i need you'
instead of 'do you need me?'
because i guess i thought (i think)
you didn't (don't) need me.
May 2014 · 636
Quiet May 2014
maybe i'm pullin' a gun.
surprised the cops ain't come runnin',
because i'm trigger happy, nothing's stoppin'
the pain.
nothing's stoppin' the blood, except the sheriff who rolled into town
maybe i gotta shoot him too.
i lose everyone, might as well
shoot him too.
trigger trigger
trigger trigger
maybe i'm pullin' a gun.
May 2014 · 308
it stopped
Quiet May 2014
my heart
and then i felt
and it stopped.
my heart beat beat beat
and then i felt, and it stopped.
May 2014 · 346
i remember
Quiet May 2014
i remember having to stand where they
could find me
and they brought me to some place
that smelt of tears (**** it smelt like screams)
and maybe i shed my own tears
and maybe some other scared little girl smelt
the sugar burning
because my innocence left the day i decided that
everything was awfulscarywhatshappening
so i dialed some number and made a mistake
and i lost the battle to stay
i remember i remember i remember
saying i loved him, and all he did was
drop me.
i remember i remember i remember
saying i hated me, and all i did was
drop me.
i remember i remember i remember
saying i love you, and all you did was
carry me.
May 2014 · 276
Quiet May 2014
my lips had been kissed by the devil
and his poison had corrupted my heart
why did i have to talk to people
who would never understand
and the answer, he said, was that i didn't.
he said not to talk to anyone, and instead to return
to hell with him,
where i belong.
so with one shot fired,
i did.
May 2014 · 1.1k
enemy territory
Quiet May 2014
i have no idea
why i can feel a boxing match
in my rib cage
where bone and heart meet.
or why my skin tingles like i am
watermelon, left on the ground after a picnic,
and the ants have found me.
i don't know what this is-
i'm in enemy territory,
this dumb thing called love.
i've found out i'm in love sigh
May 2014 · 1.1k
Quiet May 2014
do not
scrape the feelings out with a dagger
remove them from your flesh,
and do not feel
do not feel for emotion clouds the

May 2014 · 481
Quiet May 2014
****, what a body, and sometimes
she touches me.
****, what a great voice,  and sometimes
she sings to me.
****, what a smile, and sometimes
it's directed at me.
Our laughs match like
we were meant to be.

I should not feel like this.
May 2014 · 341
dear you
Quiet May 2014
if i make a typo,
please forgive me,
because my fingers are slipping as my keyboard
but i needed to write this, to someone who will
never see it.

dear you,
i miss you. i miss the way your eyes were the greatest color i had felt in a long time, and then became a legacy nobody could live up to. i miss the way you tripped on air. i miss the way you laughed when i tripped on my words, because i never trusted my mouth to work properly. i miss the way you would become this energetic child when you talked about the possibilities that lay in the stars. as if talking about stars literally pulled them from the sky and put them in your eyes. and maybe you never put them back. i miss the way you believed in me, one hand firmly on my mind and the other cradling my fragile heart. i miss the way there was this sort of love between us (completely platonic and professional) and i miss the way you asked me if i was okay, and when i lied, you pulled the truth out of me. i miss you, simply and fully.
how come you had to go?

May 2014 · 611
I missed the screenshot
Quiet May 2014
But I got 1k views! Thanks everyone!
May 2014 · 333
an old relapse
Quiet May 2014
I saw my butterflies leaving,
I was a wilting flower they no longer could pollinate,
and they couldn't stop me from telling my insides that I was,
every word that described awful, horrendous, and me because we
were synonyms, and I needed to feel something
except numb.

May 2014 · 327
Quiet May 2014
I'm almost at 1,000 collective views on my poems. Cool..
May 2014 · 650
Quiet May 2014
My bones are star dust-
I am a super nova.
Behind me is darkness, ahead is a sky full of
stars, and that is why my eyes are bright
even when my soul (made of star dust, too)- is dull.

May 2014 · 204
Quiet May 2014
Sometimes I like to rip my heart out so I can stop
feeling. Sometimes I like to lay in the sky and
die. Sometimes I sleep.

May 2014 · 344
Quiet May 2014
My lips emitted         lies.
My eyes exposed      the truth.
I fell into                     oblivion.

May 2014 · 310
Quiet May 2014
I'm writing at 2 in the morning
In 21 days I'll be in the
s p o t l i g h t. My skin will
burn. My eyes will twinkle.
I will be someone else,
and I will stop breathing for a
They'll be little books and under my name
will be 5 roles, and 5 sentences about
some girl I won't know because I'll be
too deep into character.
Nothing will go wrong.
Yeah, right, that's why I'm crying my
eyes out at 2 am because I'm so s c a r e d.
I have 21 days,
to get my a c t together.
May 2014 · 390
Quiet May 2014
my feet quickly began to meld into the
rubber grips on the stairs descending (into hell, I promise)
and wasn't I supposed to ask him something?
or wait, maybe I was supposed to ask yesterday.
what if I see someone I know?
ohnonono don't look at him
yeah, yeah, I'm perfectly fine but if you don't mind,
I need to get this test done (so I can go home, but I don't say that)
there's a sword fight going on in my spine,
and a boxing match in my head.
somehow my tears manage to stay
on the bridge of my lips,
staying off of the paper
that will judge me.
and then I wipe them with
ever graying hands, hands that shake
as I pass him the booklet,
and hands that turn the doorknob
releasing me and flushing out
all the panic.

May 2014 · 341
into me (but not like that)
Quiet May 2014
something drew you to me
as something drew me to you
an invisible thread
that i was afraid was too thin
to hold us together,
to keep you where i wanted you
so i cut it myself (like i used to cut my shell)
and i didn't know that
the rope was actually wire
and cutting it made it go slack,
and it hit me
r i g h t i n m y c h e s t
but i still loved you,
i loved you as i bled,
i loved you on my knees.
i loved you while you grabbed me by the waist
and kissed away the tears
saying 'hush now, butterfly, it's all okay'
but i didn't die, no.
i ended up in the ICU,
where I (had to) see you.
And then you admitted
you were into me,
but not like that (?)

May 2014 · 357
center me (please)
Quiet May 2014
I wonder if
you're noticing me cringing because your voice
no longer soothes me into a state of serenity,
instead it manages to make my hands shake
and my head hurt.
And if you can see my hands shaking,
do I need to sit on them?
Because something about the days a h e a d
are twisting up my i n s i d e s.
And I'm at war with insanity,
I've lost my mind and any ounce of me that cared.
If you notice my frantic state,
how come you haven't asked me if I'm okay
like you usually do, and how come you
won't center me, pull me out of the tide,
because you're strong and I,
I am turning inside out, completely and utterly
My bones are where my skin should be, my hair
is blood, and I am made of skin and senses.
Except that I am numb,
so maybe I am blind, and deaf, and dead.
please, center me because I am off balance,
and I have fallen, and the world is tilted.
center me (please) because you're the center of my world.

eh it *****. will tag later.
May 2014 · 1.9k
tinkerbell and wendy
Quiet May 2014
People told me you were a smoker-
nothing but trouble,
and that you were left overs
from girls who had left because they were
I didn't listen, I just wanted to kiss
away the nicotine, I got withdrawls without
being addicted, and our lips never met
because I kept shoving you away,
you kept reaching for the skin under my 
'Fall Out Boy' t-shirt 
And you told me that I made you hot,
and I just giggled and said you didn't
need me, you were the hottest guy I had ever seen
but I knew what you meant,
I could feel the desire on your breath
against my neck

you took me to a concert
with the music blaring in my ears, I could
barely hear what you said but I could see
the way your eyes moved and the way that my heart started to sink
when our eyes met
so our sweaty bodies pressed against eachother in time to the music
and I laughed when you sang those songs about love and heartbreak
staring at me, because I didn't realize (I never realized)
that I meant that much to you 
(I thought it was always a joke, the way you needed me. I didn't
understand that the music spoke to you about me)

I asked you, still wearing the t-shirt (much to your dismay)
which Fall Out Boy song
could be ours, and as you stared
at the anchor (I asked you to lift your eyes but you wouldn't)
you chose Alone Together, or 
was it The Phoenix, I couldn't remember,
but you said I was your phoenix,
and I laughed and compared you to Albus Dumbledore,
but inside I wasn't laughing, because there was
fiery desire in your finger tips,
and I wondered if I really would burst into flames
(or tears, but either way, would I come back to life?)
But I thought it was the coolest thing
that you thought I was **** (like Finn said to Rachel during their
prom king and queen dance)

but inside I stared at you the same way
watching my heart slowly crack because I was never as desirable
as pretty as she could be.
you deserved to be with somone like her,
someone who's body fits perfectly into yours
who would fit right into a magazine photoshoot right beside you
while I took the photographs of the perfect couple..
I put on my best clothes and dressed up hoping to look like sleeping beauty to you 
but you laughed at me and asked why I looked so fancy
we were only watching Peter Pan, like we did every friday
(and I was Tinkerbell, because you were too blinded by someone else 
to see me)

I remember that I asked you, on a Wednesday 
(you pointed out my bracelet and told me it was **** Day,
and winked, and I shuddered inwardly)
why you left the last girl-
and you said because she was a princess
and I was a queen,
and I laughed and threw my arms around your neck
and we kissed and I tasted nicotine, your hands were cold
against my neck.
That was it. That was my wake up call.
I was nothing but a body to you,
my chest and rear were big,
larger than most,
so I shoved you away again, and then turned on my heel,
and said 'you are my ashes, and I have risen out of you',
and then I was gone on my Phoenix Wings.
But that was not the end of it,
because then I visited her, your ex,
and I told her what happened, and let myself cry a little,
and the two of us watched Peter Pan,
and I made a friend, because we had both dated Captain Hook.
Co-written with Avery Greensmith (again) because we're married ! (Alternsting POVs)
May 2014 · 1.1k
my heartbreak song/poem
Quiet May 2014
You said good morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?
You made too many promises you just couldn't keep.
You said "You'll be okay, just maybe not today"
That was just what I wanted you to say
I fought to keep you out
But you were too strong
I let down my walls
**** was I wrong

My hips were meant for your lips
Your words were the holy water I sipped
My scars are there because of you
So I guess you won't be kissing them anytime soon

And when you touched my skin, I could feel the future
I could see the past, and I could feel her
I asked "Do I have your heart"
Or will your pretty ex-girlfriend tear us apart?

Of course you said- 'I love you, baby, we'll last forever'.
And I felt like every day was the first day, the first time you said you loved me
Until the past pulled you away

My hips were meant for your lips
Your words were the holy water I sipped
My scars are there because of you
So I guess you won't be kissing them anytime soon

We were both scarred and reeling from the fall
But then you went and ended it all
“I’m good for you but you’re not good for me”
All the lies and the secrets- why couldn’t I see?

We met in the rain, we were both in pain,
and I said 'I think you're saving me',
you said 'I can set you free'

My hips were meant for your lips
Your words were the holy water I sipped
My scars are there because of you
So I guess you won't be kissing them anytime soon

I’m dancing around the words I should be saying
I’m holding in the breaths I should be taking
Why can’t you wake up?
Why can’t you see?
Just what you’re doing to me?

Everything was desperation, this love was pain's creation,
so we should have known that it would hurt
because in the fire of everything bad, we met and I pretended you were my safety net
we both got burned, I should have learned
not to trust anyone with such a pathetic lust

Because my hips were meant for your lips
Your words were the holy water I sipped
My scars are there because of you
So I guess you won't be kissing them anytime soon
No, you won't be kissing them anytime soon.
co-written with
May 2014 · 323
your eyes are the stars
Quiet May 2014
Some nights I can't close my eyes without
seeing everything I feared,
feeling every horrible thing
(every horrible thing, every horrible thing ever)
and I just stare at the ceiling, imagining stars
where our names were written

we carved our names into a tree as well as the stars
we tried to be like the movies, and in a way,
it was even better than the movies
but I can still remember the feel of your lips against
mine as I stare up at that ceiling and wish
I could feel the way your body moves again,
just one more time to say goodbye
to the way you felt.

Some nights I look up at the real stars,
where my dreams lay,
and on the heels of my bare feet (the grass is cool, and keeps my raging fever from
growing to the size of the sky)
and I wonder if you're somewhere
looking up at them too,
and if the moonlight is kissing your lips as I once did
but I do not miss you, because after a while,
the strength drained out of us, and we were only met
at the lips, and never eye to eye

when I first met you, I first noticed your eyes.
that's why it was so hard when we never met eye to eye anymore
your eyes shone out in the darkness I walked in
and I knew that I had to have you near me.
you must've thought the same thing because you never
let go of me until we both realized that it was over,
that we would be stuck looking up at the sky
with a telescope of feelings,
wanting the way our eyes first met back.

but it wouldn't happen,
so I've chosen to pretend that,
like our love,
the stars have burned out.
its over.
Co-written with Avery Greensmith ! ♥
May 2014 · 1.7k
butterfly fly away
Quiet May 2014
i am sorry-

because my butterflies flew away

because i wilted

and no amount of care could bring me back,

away from my silver sliver.
May 2014 · 402
you and the ledge
Quiet May 2014
sometimes for a minute I forget that I don't exist In your mind
you're the one that keeps me breathing when I'm pushed into the ocean
and yet you don't even realize that you're the air in my lungs when I
struggle to move through the dark waters
but that's okay because I would rather have you hold me up and not know it
than not have you there to keep me from drowning

The moon showed me exactly what was inside of your soul
And I wondered if the stars showed you what was in mine,
if you could see me as I shattered, as I exploded into nothing but star
And then you asked me if it was alright if you
came closer, and fixed me, and I said- yes, just don't hurt me,
and you didn't. Piece by piece, you put me
and your hands bled onto my skin, and we mixed together
as skin and breath,
because you understood me, you had once upon a shadow been
stood. At the ledge, almost falling
And now you were there again to rescue me.

you held me that night at the bridge
when all I wanted to do was fall,slowly, but not for you
i'd already fallen for you, and I didn't realize you cared.
but then you jumped out of the shadows,
grabbed my wrists, looked me in the eyes
and told me that I was worth more than what I was doing
as you pulled me away from the bridge you reminded
me that I was beautiful (you reminded me of this
many times with your musical voice, I just forget
each time because you've put me together so many times)

I thought it was funny, how you could save me but i couldn't help
You, i found it comical that maybe I hadn't even
said my first words or
Walked towards the light,
when you were struggling like i was
Now, and when my laughter broke the humid night air,
You were confused, so i laughed harder and pointed at the ledge
That you pulled me back from and said
'That's why i wanted to fall- because you keep saving
Me, and i cannot save you, you might not need saving but i am
Weak, worthless, useless, i am done'
And i sprinted towards oblivion but you still held me and
No matter how many times i screamed and hit you
You would not let go.

you amaze me that way.
why would you hold someone so broken
that she wants to drop off the end of oblivion
never to be seen again by anyone breathing
(or anyone who has ever breathed, if I had gotten my way)
you held me so tight that the only person I could harm
was you
why would you do that? why would you
let me hurt you just so I could not hurt myself
so I could not rip myself into millions of pieces
you've pulled me back from the edge of the world
where I would've fallen if you hadn't pulled me back
with your gentle hands dragging me away from where I stood
grabbing my arms and keeping me there
so instead of falling off the bridge I fell for you.

I slid to the ground, and your arms
and your breath still held because you cared
and you wanted me to be alright,
or at least alive
and thanks to you,
I was.
Co-wrote with Avery Greensmith <3
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