i am not  
your girl      

i am just
the instrument
of your
insatiable lust,
your reliable
second choice

i am the
missed call      
on your phone,
the unopened
love letters
stashed under
your mattress

i am the
neglected cup
of coffee,
the Advil                        
after a hangover

i am
the person
in between
your shivering
legs and
the one
whose thighs
are covered
with bruises
and your
lipstick stains

the only person
who tolerates
your alcoholism
and the
only one
you kiss        
when you
taste like
cheap bar
whiskey

i am
the hand
rubbing
shoulders
while you
puke your
entire night
out and spill
incoherent
words

i am all
of those
things but
i am not
your girl

i am
just your
drunken night,
the blurs
of your
hangover

i am the
memories
you long
so much
to delete

because i
am also
the regret
seeping through
your skull
preventing you
from sleeping
at night

i am not
your girl

but i crave
to be yours