Hi mate…ya, I’m in for
housebreaking and trespassing
and robbery, all in one, ya

Well, I, **** I broke into this mansion
and hey, I picked up lots of rare stuff
precious little things that’d fetch much money
later at the thieves’ market, ya
And I threw them into my handy bag
and then I found myself in the kitchen
and fixed myself a drink, ya
and the sofa was nice
so I sat down to have my drink, ya -
some rich man’s fancy wine or French luxury,
or whatever it was, ya

And it was comfy in the sofa
and the drink I had another
and it was so comfy I went to sleep, ya
and the next moment
the police were there
It wasn’t a dream, ya
It seemed the ****** owners had come in
while I was asleep
and they’d call the police, ya –
****! I’ve always had this habit
of sleeping on the job, ya!

And that's how
I **** got landed here, mate