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Apr 2014
cross my heart, hope to die
forgive me God, but I tried
to see through this heavy mist
to make of what has come of this
I attempted to stay stong,
I attempted to carry on,
but I can't live a lie
I can't let this pain, just pass by.

question in their eyes; one reason in their heart
because if word gets around, they could be a part.
no compassion in their words
how we live: a bit absurd.

they look at me,
boy it's hard to breath
tears have become my oxygen
there's no way I am keeping them in
my situation: out of their reach
something they'd only see on a movie screen
my life: a reality tv show
my life: so far below.

walk the halls like I walk the city streets
look straight; pace: like there's a clock to beat
focus ahead, so I don't break down
funny how people haven't seen me around
when I need some light, all hope fails
and they blank me out; loneliness will always prevail

a broken heart, a broken dream
a broken girl, torn at the seams
body, in motion
head, high off commotion
focus ungained
not worth the strain
my world is on fire
and I can't get any higher
to watch it all in flames
I'm to caught up in my own vain.
January 9, 2010
words from a very difficult time in my life
amanda martinez
Written by
amanda martinez  boulder
   Skadi Snow and Paula Lee
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