I shouldn't punish myself
For your cruelty.
And yet it is a punishment
Either way.
Today I looked down at myself in the shower
And my stomach curved in
Like the bowl of a spoon
And even when I breathed deep
It wouldn't
Grow.
I am no longer sick.
But as I sit here
And my stomach growls
I do punish myself.
I say to it,
To my traitorous body,
To the girl who lives in my mind,
The one you hate.
I say,

"Hungry?

Yeah.
Me too."

And I let her
Starve a bit longer.