Arms tight, grabbing fistfuls of t-shirt, your mascara wet on his shoulder. This is the hug you give when something is falling apart.
This is the hug you give your ex boyfriend when you promise you will still be there for him, this is the hug you give him when he wishes to stop existing, this is the hug you give him when you tell him you love him, this is the hug you give him when he doesn't believe you,
these embraces will break your heart, they will make your ribs curl in on themselves, they are apologies for the harm you have caused, they are guilt for the scars you have left, they are acknowledging that terrible things happen to beautiful people, they are the realization that you are not a beautiful person, you are a terrible thing.
Nothing has ever broken my heart more than feeling yours beating *and knowing you wanted it to stop.