Sometimes I go back to the past

I watch my twiggy legs shake, my hands grip my arms attempting to steady; to comfort

I watch myself form an invisible box around my body; a personal shield

While I begged for forgiveness that I didn’t need

My brain separated my consciousness from reality,

I said it all just like a story,
just like they had taught me



On my knees in front of your bed,
an altar for wrathful gods

I cried and I prayed for forgiveness that I didn’t need

I took all the blame, beared it like a cross
and carried it with me,

You gave me a title, a crown of thorns-
and watched me bleed  


And still while I bled, exposed on your cross,

You told me to beg harder, for the innocence I had lost

So I begged for forgiveness that I didn’t need

While he watched under the shade of your palm trees