I wonder if I'll ever know the answer
Will I ever find the unspoken words between the lines
Racing through the never ending days
Driving past all these glaring stop signs
Will I ever truly feel free?
Will my heart race and soul yearn?
Will it ever beat steady and strong?
Will it grow hotter and burn?
I wonder how long I have left?
Is my forever the here and now?
Is stability and contentment the goal?
Is this the final scene when I take a bow?
When did being healthy and happy grow so loud
Like a broken alarm clock refusing to switch off
Blaring and screaming unwaveringly proud.
Younger me would roll my eyes and scoff
Its as if I'm waiting for that other shoe
That supposed one thats meant to drop
The first is on the floor awaiting
The other held high at the top
Holding my breath and waiting.
Times passing, and I can't help but anticipate
The inevitable feeling of dread,
But maybe its all in my head.