I went to see a Magician
He asked me why I came
I told him that I need a disappearing act
And could he help out a hapless man

With a snap of the fingers
Or a wave of the wand
Roll up his sleeves to revel nothing
Then all of the sudden, ****!... I'm gone

Running from a woman
That and the IRS
Not really sure, which scares me more
Not placing my bets on that craziness

I see no other options
Either that or sawed in half
When there's two of me, they can each
Have what little there is left

Or maybe lock me up in a three-lock box
Toss me in the ocean deep
Either way would be okay
If that's the last they see of me

So please Mr. Magician
Can I make myself any clearer
I'll take what I can of your Abracadab
If you'll just help me disappear from here