Aug 2023
Footsteps:
I hear my own footsteps in the snow as I walk forever alone toward nowhere. In search of anyone, my footsteps speak to me and remind me that I am truly alone. I yearn to see a fox run by. I yearn for the singing of birds. Even a wasp sting to possibly wake me up from this nightmare. I have forgotten music. The tones even evade my dreams. I do the same in my dreams. Walk and walk forever. Only the sound of footsteps while I'm awake and asleep.
Toward the school:
I come upon an old school. The empty playgrounds convey a sadness of missing the children that once played on it. I come to a realization that the playground is not sad. Its only what I sense and feel. Had I never found this playground I would have never felt such sadness. And this playground perhaps would have simply never existed. But I found it and now the sadness has created its own atmosphere. I sit on the swing and feel a spark of joy that seems to come from the playground itself. The spark never ignites a flame as the short-found joy is drowned in sorrow by my emotions that created the joy for the playground itself. I stop swinging and center myself in this endless loneliness. I enter the school through double doors as one is left open. Again, I have a sense that the building itself is inviting me in. Another emotion given to a lifeless structure of bricks and concreate.
The halls at night:
I wonder through the halls of this emotionless school and aimlessly walk toward a destination the hallways would simply take me. I get a feeling the hallways are guiding me toward a salvation of sort. As if the inner workings of the school itself are alive and I am trying to find a heart to beat. Maybe I am the heart, and I am trying to get the flow back. But perhaps I'm just lost in thought again and I am making this up as I go. The moon starts to breathe in its light into the hallways through the windows as it uncovers itself from the blanket of clouds. The luminescent breath of the moon creates a beautiful eeriness that only ghost could paint. I venture forth and up the stairs through a darkness that is afraid of the moonlight. I stand in the darkness for a moment to try and comfort it. But why? This darkness nest in a corner just out of reach of the moonlit rapture that has taken all the other darkness it shines upon. Knowing this darkness was safe I traverse the dark stairway into another hallway above.
The colors of the cloud:
The final hallway the stairway of darkness lifted me to seemed longer than the others. The moon light kissed the dust specks in the air turning them into moving floating stars in an expanse of tranquilly that called forth the memory of music. I began to breathe heavily as the tones from silence rang my ears with notes and chords brought on by visual stimulation that I thought was impossible. How could a visual create sound? As the dust in the moonlight danced the dance of shadow and light, I heard a constant tone and vibration of ambient heaven like belief. As I walked through the floating vault of heaven I came to a L in the hallway. This hallway was untouched by the moon spells and floating stardust. In this hallway every window emitted a different color all its own. As if lightning of every color flashed its arc cutting through the sky and bleeding into the windows. I walked through the hallway and could not seem to find a source of the aura of colors this hallway had become. At the end of the hallway was a grand window that seem to have all the colors cycling through all at once. As I reached this window, I saw a cloud in the sky made up of all colors I have ever seen. It had a chaotic oscillation of lightning bolts that lit up the sky without the mercy toward any type of darkness whatsoever. The beauty of this cloud reinvigorated my soul. I was breathing in the light. With every breath thunder roared across eternity. All colors started to return. And I could hear the music. In all directions I went. Over the land and over the oceans. Through deserts and mountains. Life has awakened once again. I am the sky, and I am the land. I feel the life upon me as the life believes in me.
I hear my own footsteps in the snow as I walk forever alone toward nowhere. In search of anyone, my footsteps speak to me and remind me that I am truly alone. I yearn to see a fox run by. I yearn for the singing of birds. Even a wasp sting to possibly wake me up from this nightmare. I have forgotten music. The tones even evade my dreams. I do the same in my dreams. Walk and walk forever. Only the sound of footsteps while I'm awake and asleep.
Toward the school:
I come upon an old school. The empty playgrounds convey a sadness of missing the children that once played on it. I come to a realization that the playground is not sad. Its only what I sense and feel. Had I never found this playground I would have never felt such sadness. And this playground perhaps would have simply never existed. But I found it and now the sadness has created its own atmosphere. I sit on the swing and feel a spark of joy that seems to come from the playground itself. The spark never ignites a flame as the short-found joy is drowned in sorrow by my emotions that created the joy for the playground itself. I stop swinging and center myself in this endless loneliness. I enter the school through double doors as one is left open. Again, I have a sense that the building itself is inviting me in. Another emotion given to a lifeless structure of bricks and concreate.
The halls at night:
I wonder through the halls of this emotionless school and aimlessly walk toward a destination the hallways would simply take me. I get a feeling the hallways are guiding me toward a salvation of sort. As if the inner workings of the school itself are alive and I am trying to find a heart to beat. Maybe I am the heart, and I am trying to get the flow back. But perhaps I'm just lost in thought again and I am making this up as I go. The moon starts to breathe in its light into the hallways through the windows as it uncovers itself from the blanket of clouds. The luminescent breath of the moon creates a beautiful eeriness that only ghost could paint. I venture forth and up the stairs through a darkness that is afraid of the moonlight. I stand in the darkness for a moment to try and comfort it. But why? This darkness nest in a corner just out of reach of the moonlit rapture that has taken all the other darkness it shines upon. Knowing this darkness was safe I traverse the dark stairway into another hallway above.
The colors of the cloud:
The final hallway the stairway of darkness lifted me to seemed longer than the others. The moon light kissed the dust specks in the air turning them into moving floating stars in an expanse of tranquilly that called forth the memory of music. I began to breathe heavily as the tones from silence rang my ears with notes and chords brought on by visual stimulation that I thought was impossible. How could a visual create sound? As the dust in the moonlight danced the dance of shadow and light, I heard a constant tone and vibration of ambient heaven like belief. As I walked through the floating vault of heaven I came to a L in the hallway. This hallway was untouched by the moon spells and floating stardust. In this hallway every window emitted a different color all its own. As if lightning of every color flashed its arc cutting through the sky and bleeding into the windows. I walked through the hallway and could not seem to find a source of the aura of colors this hallway had become. At the end of the hallway was a grand window that seem to have all the colors cycling through all at once. As I reached this window, I saw a cloud in the sky made up of all colors I have ever seen. It had a chaotic oscillation of lightning bolts that lit up the sky without the mercy toward any type of darkness whatsoever. The beauty of this cloud reinvigorated my soul. I was breathing in the light. With every breath thunder roared across eternity. All colors started to return. And I could hear the music. In all directions I went. Over the land and over the oceans. Through deserts and mountains. Life has awakened once again. I am the sky, and I am the land. I feel the life upon me as the life believes in me.
