It’s been forever ago

It hurt so bad
it created a little hole
that slowly consumes me
from the moment I sleep in the morning
to the midday naps I took
sleep was never here

i moved my bed to where the sun
doesnt reach me anymore
i hated the heat
i hated the hint of
tomorrow’s glow

it’s been years you still
sit at the back of every forgotten memory
dusted furnitures you rearranged
and made a home

there was never love
for you
but i hoped
there was never anything
from you
but i held my neck like drying clothes

i felt ashamed
but never for loving you
it was just i’m ashamed i even dared to

create a space for you
though i felt empty
you never deserved
an inch of everything
i felt.

you never deserved me.

you never deserved the happiness
you stole from every night
and every sun light absorbed
waiting for the day
to kiss you.