i don't miss my parents like good daughter should
simply because i have always been too independent

but recently i have been imagining crawling into bed with mom
she would still hold me if i asked her to
as tightly as she would've years ago

i wonder if i should ask her
i wonder how i could hold back the tears that i feel welling up inside of me even now, miles and weeks away
how do i apologize for not asking sooner?
how could i ever make up for that?

does she know that i love her