I’m drunk on peach wine
And you’re just a text away
I don’t know why you went back to them
It hurts my heart to see
That taking a break didn’t change anything
It breaks my heart to see
How you’re treated when you show any emotion
It breaks my heart to see
The ways in which I could do better
It hurt terribly when you told me that you had gone back
To where you were once so miserable
Every time you tell me a new wrong
It makes me see red
Because I know you deserve so much better
Than to be ridiculed and used as an ego boost
I am so full of these secrets
And it feels like they may leak out of me
I feel like I can never tell you any of this

A few nights ago I made a small confession
And just that felt like I had gone too far
It didn’t change anything
Except to make everything uncertain
I hate not knowing could have been
Or what could be
Because every time i turn around
I see a new memory that we made
And it reminds me of the gentle love you radiate
The love that I crave more of

I don’t know

There’s a hole in my heart that you would fill
But I can’t overstep
And risk losing what we have
I’m lonely as it is
I couldn’t take losing you
It would **** me
Both figuratively and literally
I would die if I didn’t have what I can get
And that feels manipulative
And I hate myself for it
I just
I just love you
I just love you a lot
I just love you a lot more than I should