if only any crowd i enter could give me that same old mystic ecstatic airborne drug of elated nightblindness...
or at least a break from this damp dormant disillusionment,
you would definitely find me anywhere roaming rampant restless and so discontent—
—instead of gasping for oxygen that we didn't already use up together,
or suffocating myself with the refused exhales i used to scream out as soon as you weren't there to listen to me obediently accordingly silently suffer...
you did tell me once before that you will do to me ...whatever you wanted to;
well, now that i seem to no longer matter to you, would you be so kind and take away all this* useless infected air away too?
cause if breathing just means to inhale the same breath i used to cry out every single night i let you scar and bruise me...