I taught myself to read
to understand other people
to feel empathy

I taught myself to see how they feel
to understand why they believe
what they believe

I taught myself to dream
a world where I could be free

I taught myself to be me

I taught myself that
it's OK to learn
OK to burn
OK to scream

I taught myself that it's OK to curse
OK to be worse than someone else on the team

I taught myself to forgive monsters
and the hard world that sharpened their teeth

I taught myself that
everyone cries
everyone lies
everyone dies
everyone deserves to be alive
even me

but the idea that I deserve to be loved
completely
is still just out of reach
for some reason
that's the hardest idea for me to teach

like Heaven
it's something I wish
I could just close my eyes and believe

it's not that easy

but I WILL find a way
one day

you'll see