it’s confusing to me and maybe this is where the grooming, psychological abusing comes from. i’m used and discarded, tossed into the recycling bin until i’m reused again. and again. every time making me a little weaker than the time before. a little less able to refuse. a little easier to bend, to break. the lack of permanency in the place i long for, the place in which i never got to stay for long, only to be hauled away and returned upon further notice.