Tool a while to talk about it always thinking about it. Thinking it could've been done differently while noticing he had no say, no control the first time around. When did it go wrong how did things end up so sour. He was too involved and got frustrated with the situation. Or he gave his trust not always assuming the worse.  Later to be told he didn't care called selfish for respecting boundaries.
He had their back even if he was on deck waiting around in the background. He always asked what the problem was trying to provide a solution and thinking things through first before over reacting. He didn't want to make a scene and wanted to know both sides of the story to make sense of it all.