Racing thoughts pain my brain
Some good
Some old
Some new
Theres so many things
Too many things

I don't know what this brings
But I cannot let go
Of the past
The fear
The love
The torture
Still holds me back

In spring it always attacks
The mania
The false happiness
The desire to start anew
But not sure where to
I'm still afraid
I'm lost
I'm a mess
What can I change

I'm ***** my hairs a mange
My house scattered in filfth
I feel it inside me
I drive fast windows down
I feel so much
The memories consume me
The lust
The ****
The bruises
The excitement
All in one flash

I may act rash
My brain is racing
But my body is lazy
It hurts still
How do I let it go
I want to move on
To live a new life
But to hold onto the old
I cannot do this

Mania mania mania
Screaming screaming
Ahhhhhh fun fun fun
Clean! CleAN
C L E AN MY FILFTH
START NEW
RUN
R. U. N.
FASTER
WHERE WHERE WHERE
HELP


I cannot fathom how to let it go
How to breathe in peace
My thoughts forever consume me
They always win
I just want to live
I suppose
Fresh happy and cleansed

When will I learn to breathe ?